I apologize in advanced for the fact that this will be another, “I’m way too stressed out to be coherent or interesting,” kind of post.

The stress of whether or not to transfer colleges, and where to transfer to is really getting to me. I obsess. About everything. It’s one of my many fatal flaws. It’s easy to say, “Just don’t worry about it!” But see, I can’t do that. No matter what I am thinking about, my mind always travels back to colleges.

It also probably didn’t help that we were in Oneonta this morning. We drove past SUNY Oneonta and my head started spinning. 

It’s funny really, I completely blew off the idea of going anywhere further north than where I live because of how much worse my depression gets in the winter. Now all of a sudden, I am so attracted by the idea of living upstate in the mountains. No I wouldn’t be able to live there full time, but there’s something so enchanting about being somewhere where you can just surround yourself in nature. Going to school in a big city, there is none of that. 

There is also no charm to the city I currently reside in for school. It’s all business buildings with the occasional drug store thrown in there. There’s no magic there either. Not like there is in NYC or Boston (the only other real cities I have been to), it feels cold. 

There must be something wrong when the land of eternal sun feels cold. 

I just don’t know what I am doing.

Not with school.

Not with my future career.

Not with my life.

I don’t know where I belong.

I don’t know what I am supposed to be when I, “grow up.”

I’m scared.

There’s so much pressure.

And it’s crushing me.

I’m sorry for this super depressing and angsty post. And for my excessive use of choppy sentences.

To break the tension, here’s a picture of a pretty road covered in snow!





I’m typing this post whilst wearing a onesie…

I just thought you guys should know.


Obviously I am verrrryy serious about my onesie wearing….

ANYWAYS! It’s been a few days, and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Mine was alright, Christmas is always a bittersweet kind of thing. My father passed away almost three years ago, and Christmas really just doesn’t feel right without him. However, I am blessed to have such a wonderful (albeit slightly crazy) family that I love so much. I really am lucky. I have a large extended family and we are all very close. Even my dad’s side is close with my mom’s side! I’m also close with my second cousins and their families which is something that I know not a lot of people are able to say. I really am thankful for what i have.


Awkward family photo, featuring me and a few of my cousins.

Moving on, I’ve been feeling pretty down lately and haven’t really had the motivation to sit down and write anything. I’m stressed beyond belief with wanting to transfer colleges, social things, and just my own personal issues that I have with myself. Those all really came to head when, while doing insanity the other day, I fell and sprained my ankle. Being me, I had a complete meltdown over how I can’t afford not to work out and then went to the gym to do the elliptical. It didn’t hurt as much after the gym, I was happy about that.

Then, being the genius that I am…. I went to a concert with my best friend.
Yeah, probably not the best idea to stand on your newly sprained ankle for 5+ hours… Needless to say, I stood on one leg a majority of the time, couldn’t jump around or anything, and my ankle was roughly the size of a baseball by the time that I left.

Driving home was also quite the interesting experience (it was my right ankle that I sprained).

I’m happy I went to the concert though! It was Bayside’s (a band) holiday show and Man Overboard (a band my friend and I really love) were playing it too. It was a great show, I just wish that I wasn’t in too much pain to enjoy it. I also feel really bad for my friend because I know that I probably wasn’t the most fun person to be at a concert with that night …

Anyway, I have been icing the bejeezus out of my ankle and have been wearing my ProCompression compression sock non-stop. The swelling has gone down a little bit but it still really hurts if I don’t have my sock on. I think it just really needs support.

Not being able to do Insanity with my ankle like this is really making me feel like a failure. You aren’t supposed to skip days, but I just can’t jump on my ankle. I feel horrible.

Right now I’m upstate, which I guess is good since I wouldn’t be able to do Insanity here anyway. The weather is crazy here. I went for a sloooooow three mile run and I swear that I thought my face was going to fall off!



Don’t let that seemingly harmless road fool you! It was completely covered in ice and I wound up pretty much ice skating for most of my run. It was also raining/snowing and I wound up drenched from head to toe. On the up side, my ankle by hurt! My guess it that it was because I was too frozen to feel it.

Being upstate is so nice, cold, yes, but nice. Last night we went out to a restaurant called Soma’s for my aunt’s birthday. The restaurant cooks over a wood grill and uses all locally grown products and local meat (though I don’t like to think about that.)







I had blackened salmon that came with a garden salad and probably THE BEST roasted vegetables that I have ever tasted!



I also unleashed my inner country girl and sipped tea out of a mason jar.

Now, I’m just chillin at my aunt and uncle’s country house in my onesie and blogging. As nice as it is up here, I’m excited to go home. I only have like… 2 and a half more weeks until I have to go back to school… I just want to spend as much time at home as I possibly can.

Until tomorrow mis amigos!






That pretty much sums today up in one word. The highlight of my day was getting to go running with one of my cross country friends! 

We ran three easy miles together while chatting about our college experiences. I really do enjoy having running as my alone time, but at the same time, running with another person is a nice change! I would love to try to get my friends to do longer runs with me to make the time go by quickly, but I don’t think anyone I know would be willing to wake up early and run 6+ miles with me… Some day! 

So at the preserve that we typically run at, there are goats that apparently “work” there. Their jobs are grazing and keeping the grass looking all nice! A job based solely on eating? That sounds like a dream come true for most people. Gosh… goats just get all the luck.

We have this thing where after we run we need to go bond with the goats for a little while. I like to think that the goats remember me and get excited when I visit them… they probably just think, “Wow, this girl really needs to get out more.” …



We found the goats’ family tree! My favorite name here is Windsor Von-Greybeard. So fancy!



Just hangin’ with the bestie.



My friend locked her keys in her car so she had to climb through the teeny-tiny gap in her truck to get into her car to unlock it. This isn’t the first time she has done this. During cross country try-outs last year, she locked her keys in her van so, “no one could steal them.” 

This is why she’s one of my favorite people!










Sunday fundays always end with froyo



When I got home, I did some Christmas baking, did Insanity Strength, and did some more baking. Busy day tomorrow! So much to do before Christmas!!!


NYC Part Dos

Well hello there my internet friends! (I never know how to begin blog posts…)

So, yesterday I wound up getting home super late from the city (yes I went for the second day in a row!) and was too sick/exhausted to blog… Go me! I really need to work out a new system when it comes to posting because I always wind up posting at like 1am and something tells me that that really isn’t the best time for blogging. That is the time for sleeping! I’m thinking that maybe I should start blogging in the mornings and make them about the day before… but who knows. Eventually I will get some sort of system down. 

Yesterday was a rest day on the Insanity schedule, so I took advantage of not having a crazy workout scheduled for the day and went to the gym!



45 minute workout on the good ‘ol elliptical. Man oh man is it nice to be in a gym with more than one elliptical and that isn’t filled with 20 year old guys checking themselves out! I know I have said this before… but my gym back at home really is my second home. It just makes me happy to be there!

After the gym, I quickly showered and put some makeup on this face of mine and then headed into the city with my mom for some good old mother-daughter bonding!



I’m only just noticing that, “direction to New York,” sign.

We got into the city and headed over to Times Square (which for some reason was under construction and closed off… seems like a weird time of year for construction work if you ask me) and then from there we went to Bryant Park!



Bryant Park is one of my absolute favorite places during Christmas time. The tree, though it’s not Rockefeller Center tree, is absolutely beautiful. There is also ice skating and adorable little booths selling fun and festive food, trinkets, or clothing, all over the place. I could be there for hours… and we were.


In the Max Brenner booth, they gave me some chocolate covered pecan thing and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. Their little hot chocolate, “hug mugs,” are also the cutest things on the planet.

The best part of my day was probably this…


All my life… those long 18 years that I have been on this planet… I have never once tried a macaroon. Now, being a total instagram junkie, I have obviously seen more than enough pictures of these pretty french cookies. I have always wanted to try one but, not being one to really eat cookies and stuff, and not knowing where to get them, I haven’t. So that’s why, right when I saw this booth I asked my mom if she would want to split a macaroon with me.

After much debate (so many flavors and so bad at making decisions) I finally settled on the dark chocolate macaroon.



Oh my gosh. It was so light and sweet but not to sweet and oh my goodness so good. My mom and I both loved it and now I think we need to go to France because obviously liking a French cookie is a good reason to book a flight to another country.

Later, we walked over to Rockefeller Center to see the tree. I had seen it the day before with my friend, but we wanted to see it at night!



So pretty!

And the little show thing that Saks has is always fun too



All in all… it was a good day!

Today was pretty low key. I ran some errands, ran into an old friend, and worked out (ab work and Insanity Speed and Agility). My goal is to get a decent amount of sleep tonight since I’ve been feeling pretty sick lately. I’m also going running with a cross country friend tomorrow so I am excited for that!

Goodnight !


I think my legs may just fall off…

But it’s ok…


Oh so true.

Remember yesterday when I said how excited/scared I was for today’s workout? Oh, well I had every single reason to be scared.

Insanity Asylum Vertical Plyo is, hands down, the hardest workout I have ever done in my life.

I’ve done all of the Insanity workouts, I’ve done P90x workouts, I’ve done TurboJam, I’ve done Jillian Michaels.

Those are all, honestly, cake walks in comparison to this workout.

Let me get into this for a moment. The workout starts with a “warm up” (if you are familiar with Insanity, the warm ups are as tough as workouts normally are) that is more difficult than I have ever experiences. There are split lunges with a jump rope, squat jumps with the jump rope, double jumps, and hop scotches with the jumprope. There are long jumps and pushups and jumps… oh my.

After, like in every other Insanity video in the history of ever, you go into a quick stretch. I swear, my legs were already to give out at this point and it was only about 10 minutes in to the 40 minute workout.

Then the torture fun really begins….

The main workout was filled with a large amount of EXTREME moves from, “switch-kick mountain climbers” to “one legged power jumps,” (oh my God). The “active recovery” was double jump ropes, which are essentially high jumps. Yeah. Some recovery. There were no water breaks, there were no real rests. There was you, Shaun T, and pain, lots of pain.

Tough doesn’t even begin to describe this workouts. It’s one of those workouts that you need to push yourself in order to get better. These moves are… well… insane (hehehe) and you need to push your body to it’s limits. During the last couple of moves, my legs were shaking to the point that I could only to the workouts very slowly. I don’t know about you, but I get really upset and down on myself when I see people in a workout video doing moves that I struggle to do. I had to keep reminding myself that the people in the Asylum videos are, as Shaun T says, the elite. It’s ok to not be able to keep up with them in beginning. Everyone is on their own fitness journey. It’s ok to go slowly. I will improve. And besides, form over speed, form over speed.

After working out, I was reduced to a sweaty heap on the floor… oops.

Before all of this fun/torture began (I didn’t workout until pretty late last night), I did something really fun.

I went into the city with my best friend!


There really is nothing quite like New York City at Christmas time. Actually, there’s nothing quite like New York City in general. Someone remind me why I chose to move away for college?

Of course, we had to go and see the tree…



Sorry to the random people in my photograph >.<.

It wound up getting cold pretty fast, so we wound up only staying in the city for a couple of hours, but I would still say that it was a successful trip. We saw the tree and some store windows, plus I dragged Cody (my best friend) into Urban Outfitters to look at vinyls with me! Also, any day spent with my best friend is a good day. It was so nice to see him. Oh gosh I’m just still so happy to be home. I can’t believe that it’s already been a week.

Time needs to slow down!




Today was… Interesting…

To say the least…

It all started as a normal Wednesday at home. Wake up at 7. Wake up little brother. Shake little brother vigorously until he finally gets up. Make little brother breakfast (Ovaltine and waffles because I’m a rad big sister 😉 ). Take little brother to school.

After taking James (that’s “little brother’s name!) to school, I set up to do today’s Insanity workout.

Today’s scheduled workout was “Back to Core,” which I expected would be … Well… A core based workout.

But of course, I was wrong. I’m starting to learn that when it comes to The Asylum, you need to expect the unexpected. Back to core was, in fact, a back workout. Yes, it works the core  in the sense that the core must be engaged to properly do the moves, but it was ALL about the back. Oh that upper body… Yup… not my thing.

This workout was tough and, whilst it focused mainly on the back, it worked the legs, booty, and abs as well.The hardest part for me was this one sequence where you had to hold a lunge for a billion years (yes, that is an accurate number) while to back moves. I had to stand for a second during that (I’m ashamed to even admit that). Again, I have to improve throughout the course of the series.

Sweat wise, it this workout got my heart rate up , but not nearly as much as I am used to with Insanityy. I wouldaalmost think of this workout as an active rest day kind of workout.. You get some great strength training in with small burst of cardio in the beginning and end. Definitely the “easiest” (I put easiest in quotes because there is nothing easy about Insanity) workout I have done yet from the Asylum so far. Tomoorrow is Vertical Plyo and i am SO excited/scared because cardio is kind of my thing!

The best part of finishing a morning workout is a breakfast smoothie after!

… Oh wait… I didn’t take a picture of my smoothie today. Oh darn. Now how ever will you know what it looks like? It’s not like I post pictures of the same smoothie every day…

I also got a much needed haircut today. I’m a wimp and put off getting haircuts as long as possible because my hair is my security blanket and I’m a baby and normally cry every time I get it cut because I feel like it looks bad.

Somehow, today, for the first time in my entire life… actually liked my haircut! It’s a Christmas miracle!


I really wanted my hair a certain way but it would apparently look weird long, so she just added a long layer and some angles. I have to say, it made me feel a lot better.

Things have been rough lately. I have just been feeling worse and worse about myself. My body honestly disgusts me, as does my entire appearance. It sounds vain and stupid, I know. But it’s all I can think of. I wound up being late for my hair appointment because I had an anxiety attack over being out in public. It’s shameful and embarrassing. On top of my normal self-hatred, I’m stressing over whether or not to stay at my current university, getting a job, and helping my friends who are struggling with their own problems. I hate focusing on my self, so instead I put everything into helping others… But it gets to a point where I need to help myself, and I don’t know how.

I’m sorry for this post suddenly taking a depressing spin… I just needed to vent for a second.

Now, we move onto the weird part of my day…

After getting my brother from school, I got dressed to go for a quick and easy three mile run.

Turns out, it’s winter outside. Do you know what that means? Ice.


My run practically turned into ice skating. I made sure to keep my pace slow and to keep my eyes peeled for patches of ice.

No, that isn’t the strange part of my run.

So… about 2.5 miles in… this happened. (Don’t look at the next picture if small amounts of blood bother you).

IMG_2012Yup. That’s blood. From my nose. Yup. It water fall-ed out of my nose. Yup. I’m sure you all really wanted to see a picture of my nose blood.

My nose never bleeds, and it has NEVER bled on a run. I don’t really know why this happened… all I know is that there was a lot of blood and I stood there awkwardly trying to press snow up to my nose while people out walking there dogs stared at me.

I then proceeded to run the next half mile home with blood spilling down my face.


I then had to walk into the house and try to hide my blood covered  face from my little brother since I thought freaking him out probably wouldn’t be the best thing to do…

Later, when my mom got home from work, I got to make dinner! I have missed cooking so much, especially cooking healthy meals for other people.



I made roasted asparagus, scallops from the Tone It Up nutrition plan, and salmon with a honey mustard teriyaki sauce. I also put some snow peas on the table for James. With dinner we also had some left over sweet potato from last night.



My plate!

My mom said it was all delicious. So basically, she made my day ^.^

Before I go, I will leave you with one more weird thing that happened today.

I was at the mall in Hot Topic (best store ever) looking at CDs. I saw the new Five Finger Death Punch (quality band by the way) album up on the top of the shelf, so I went to grab it and…


They all fell to the floor.


To add to my awkwardness, I made a really weird, high pitched noise when they fell and then yelled to tht entire store, “I’m sorry! I promise I’ll go far away from the CDs”

I then put the CDs back on the shelf, bought a Pierce the Veil beanies (I had to buy something after knocking the CDs over right?), and exited the store.

Oh, just a typical day in the life of Erin.

Until tomorrow mis amigos!



Insanity the Asylum Days 1 & 2

Hey people!

Last night I felt really sick and wound up taking Benadryl which knocked me out before I was able to type a post (hello run-on sentence).

So, yesterday, I officially started my journey with Insanity: The Asylum. I guess you could say that it started when I did the fitness test… But this was the first real workout… and the calendar says that this was day 1 so I’m going to say that it’s the beginning.

The first workout on the calendar was “Speed and Agility.”


(I really need to start taking pictures with a better camera)

I had super-duper high hopes for this work out. I also expected it to be one that I would be good at. Speed and agility? I’m a runner. Bring it on.

Oh was this workout so much harder than I expected.

The entire layout of the Asylum workouts are different than they are in regular insanity. The warm up progresses through different moves (this DVD used the jump rope in the warmup) instead of doing three rounds of the same thing. I actually think that I like this setup better. You don’t get bored (not that Insanity is ever boring).

Like in the normal Insanity DVDs, after the warmup, Shaun T takes you through a series of stretches. Once again, these stretches are different than what I am used to.

Then… the torture work begins.



The agility rope and I will become buddies… some day. For now, we are sworn enemies.

This workout challenged both my upper body and lower body. I was actually shocked by how many moves required the use of my upper body… once again… runner. Upper body isn’t exactly my strong-suit. 

This workout was tough, intense, and fast. A few times I had to rewind the video a tiny bit to see exactly how I was supposed to do a certain move. Shaun doesn’t take much time explaining things. This workout is about speed and seeing how much you can do. 

I’m excited to see myself improve and get better at this workout!

Today was day 2, and that meant … *cue dramatic music* STRENGTH!!

I was nervous for the strength DVD. I mean, I do my 30 minutes of strength workouts every morning, but I’m no muscle man. I just simply prefer cardio over strength, so 50 minutes of intense strength training seemed like a very daunting task.

This workout requires either a set of dumbells or a resistance band. Now, I only have 5 pound dumbells at home, so I imagine that as I get stronger I should go out and get a set of 10s. Once again, it’s going to be fun seeing myself get stronger.

I was pleasantly surprised by this workout… I loved it! Maybe even much as Speed and Agility! The moves were compound (my favorite kind of strength moves!) and progressive. Each round, a movement was added on to a specific move, making it a little bit harder than the move before it. There were also some bursts of cardio! 

I loooved this workout! I’m so excited! Tomorrow is all about back… wish me luck!

And now, for a random photo of my dinner because this post is seriously lacking in pictures and because my dinner was delicious.



Chicken and spaghetti squash… yumyumyum… Just wish I had a green veggie in there.

Oh well!

After dinner, I did 2 Blogilates “HIITalates” videos while catching up (or should I say “keeping up” *winkwink*) on the Kardashians.. Such a guilty pleasure >.<.



Nothing like getting a little sweat on before bed ;). Between Insanity and these… man oh man will I be sore tomorrow!!


And now off to sleep because this girl needs to get her kid brother to school in the morning!