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Eating Disorder Awareness Week – Fast Facts from NEDA and Some of My Favorite Resources


Hello all, I just realized that I wrote out this post at the beginning of the week and never actually published it… Whoops.

You may or may not know that this week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. In fact, on February 25th (Tuesday), the Empire State Building was lit up green and blue in support of ED awareness!

I know that I have offhandedly mentioned this here, but I have been in recovery from an eating disorder for about 3 years now. Like most people, I constantly teeter between recovery and relapse, and unfortunately, my mind is still more towards the latter, while my body is definitely in the prior. I had a whole post about it 3 years ago when I first started this blog (has it really been that long?), but I deleted it a year later, along with a majority of my posts because I didn’t want that to be what my blog was about. I wanted this blog to be a positive place, and I didn’t want my eating disorder to define my blog.

At the same time, this blog is about my life, and my eating disorder and my struggle for recovery and a positive body image are a big part of that life.

So, since this week is very near and dear to my heart, I thought that I would share some facts that I find important from the NEDA website, as well as some resources that I use and find helpful.

Males and Eating Disorders…

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It’s no surprise that eating disorder are normally written off as a, “girl issue.: They effect males too, and often it’s much harder for them to get help due to being embarrassed because of this misconception. When I was in the hospital, half of my fellow ED patients in day program were male.

Binge Eating Disorder, or BED.

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BED is actually the most common type of eating disorder, though it is also the least talked about one. It is something that people seem to just write off as, “Oh, you just overeat.” But the difference between just overeating and binging is the mental state of the person. A binge is uncontrollable and, from what I have heard from friends who have struggled with it, horrifying. Since it is not taken seriously, hardly anyone (less than half) that suffers with BED receives help.

You can find more information and eating disorder facts on the NEDA website.

Some other resources that I find helpful in recovery and in helping others.

What Not to Say to Someone With an Eating Disorder – When you have an eating disorder, almost any type of compliment/advice/help that is given to the sufferer will be taken the wrong way. It’s hard to know just what to say, and it’s not your fault if you say the wrong thing… it’s hard to deal with someone in such a fragile emotional state. This is just a list of 7 things that would seem like good things to say that actually do more harm than good.

The Recovery Record App for iPhone – This is something that I recently discovered, and it’s a really great app. It’s a log for your food, but not in the traditional sense. While recording your calories/exchanges while in recovery is important, in some cases it can be damaging. Instead of logging food, nutrients, and calories, you log your food and fill out a little questionnaire about how that meal made you feel.

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It also includes some really helpful resources for those seeking help and/or support.

 

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Remember that there is no set point for being “sick enough” to have an eating disorder. If you think something is wrong with you or a loved one, no matter how small you may perceive said problem, please don’t hesitate to seek help.

You’re all beautiful and deserve happiness. Never forget that =)

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Hello there!

Yesterday, I probably made one of the dumbest decisions ever in regards to my run.

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I tried to capture how windy it was by taking a picture of the trees… but it didn’t really work…

Basically, it was the windiest weather I have ever experienced yesterday. I was one of the 4 people on the usually packed Bayshore Boulevard (where I run) running yesterday, if that’s not proof that the weather is bad, I don’t know what else is. It was that kind of wind where you feel like you’re running so hard, but you feel like you’re not going anywhere. I probably kept a 9 min/mile pace yesterday but I was working so hard! Us runners are pretty crazy, rain or shine we’re out there! I think that’s actually one of the things about running, or runners, that makes me so happy… We love what we do so much that nomatter what the weather, you will ALWAYS see someone out running. It could be 100 degrees (I can’t run in that, but power to ya) or -100 degrees, a hurricane (I have run in one of those before, 0/10.. do not recommend), whatever, you will always see someone out running because they love it that much.

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Another example of how windy it was. These poor seagulls were trying to fly against the wind and they weren’t going anywhere… every so often, they would give up and be pushed backwards. Silly seagulls, why not just fly into the wind?

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Despite the wind, my run yesterday was awesome! I covered just over 5 miles, 3 against the wind, and 2 into the wind (so awesome). I know that I probably say this all the time, but I really love warm yet dreary and gray days. They just make me so happy. The city looked so cool! Also, props to me for taking a non-blurry picture while running!

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Sorry for all the pictures, just kind of obsessed with how cool they all look and with how dark the clouds and water were!

Today, my classes were cancelled for some reason! I’m not complaining… just wish that I would have known last night so I would have gotten more than 5 hours of sleep.

So far the highlight of my day has been that they HAD FLIPPING STRAWBERRIES IN THE CAFETERIA TODAY!

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If you are a college student, you will understand my extreme excitement over having access to fresh fruit. Also, corn is really really good on salad.

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And for a final note, I’m having a really hard time body-image wise today (actually… I always am) so I couldn’t leave the room in this outfit because I felt too awful about myself and my legs to be specific… But this outfit is probably my favorite thing ever. Pearl Jam shirt, camo jacket, leggings, and Doc Martens.

Sorry for how jumbled this was… super tired. Talk to you guys tomorrow!

 

Us Runners are Crazy and A Jumble of Thoughts

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Hope


Hey! I really wanted to talk about this yesterday, but I seriously did not have a single moment to breathe yesterday. I had 2 really hard tests (both of which I did really poorly on…) and then, between those two tests, I had a meeting, worked out, and met up with people for a group project that we had to present today. I really didn’t have a moment to sit down and write a blog post, but there is something that I am super happy about that I really wanted to share with you guys!

I’m not 100% sure if I have mentioned this here before (I think I have), but after this year, I am transferring schools and changing my major to journalism. I love fitness, I do, and I am still going to pursue getting a personal training certification and work in a gym while I am in college, but I want to write. As far as a career goes, I have always been all over the place, I am passionate about so many different things, but none of them are as straight-foward as  the normals doctor-lawyer-teacher kind of deal… Writing, music, fashion, art, photography… I want to do it all, and I can’t. But writing has been the one thing that I have consistently wanted to do since I was in kindergarten. I want to write books. Stories. I want to make people feel things. I know that it will be near impossible to make a career just as an author, but I would love to write other things to… and that gets me to the main point that I want to make in this post.

I have already mentioned that I had to write a paper on Miley Cyrus’ VMA performance for  my writing class, and yesterday I had a meeting with my writing professor to discuss my final paper.

Now let me just say that my writing professor is someone that I look up to like crazy. I had her last semester for creative writing and she is probably one of the coolest people ever. Before becoming a professor, she was a music critic and she has all these cool writer friends and she’s like just one of those cool creative people with really cool opinions… I just really look up to her and I have so much respect for her.

I entered her office and the first thing that she said to me was that she didn’t really have anything to say to me… that my paper didn’t really need any revision. There are no words how amazing it was to hear that.

She called me bright and told me that I’m a good writer. The fact that somebody that I look up to so much thinks that I’m a good writer, and was supportive of my decision to change majors, just meant the world to me.

I am just so excited… I’m ready to make a life for myself.

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Biokinetics and Music Monday #1


Hey there! I have another new segment that I want to start doing on this blog to make it a little more, well, “me.” Music is another one of those things that I am extremely passionate about, perhaps more so than anything else that I mention on this blog. Unfortunately, I am not talented enough to pursue it professionally (fun fact: my ultimate dream would be to be the lead singer of a post-hardcore band), but I still love it more than anything, and I would love to share that love with you guys!

This segment is less of a full-on post, it’s more of just a little list of the music I’m currently loving that will go along with my normal post every Monday. I think that the music that a person loves really says a lot about them, especially if they are super passionate about their particular favorite genre of music.

But first I want to tell you guys about my class this morning!

Every Monday and Wednesday, at 8:30am, I have a class called Biokinetics and Conditioning. I’m pretty sure that I have spoken about this class here before, but just to review, it’s a class about how the body moves (biokinetics) as well as putting what we learn into action through workouts (the conditioning). Today was a workout day!

Today’s workout focused on muscular endurance as well as flexibility. It looked a little something like this…

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The workouts that we do in biokinetics are tough, but not obscenely so. I think that they would be great for people who are just getting into working out! The whole thing probably spanned around 30 minutes (if I were to guess… I didn’t time it).

For the flexibility portion, we did partner stretching.. thank God my friend, Maya, is in that class with me… If I had to pair up with a stranger it would have been a tad awkward.

1. Hamstring stretch – lying on your back with one leg flat on the floor(!), lift the other leg straight up in the air with your partner holding your heel. Push against your partners with your foot while they push back, push for 5 seconds, release, and have your partner deepen the stretch by moving your leg slightly back, push again for 5 seconds, repeat the deepening the stretch and pushing process 4 times. Switch legs.

2. Quadricep stretch – get in a runner’s lunge position with your back heel in your partner’s hand, they will lift it off the ground towards your backside. Do the pushing-relaxing-deepening the stretch process from the first stretch with your heel this time, trying to get it as close to your bum as possible. Repeat 4 times and switch legs.

3. Shoulder stretch – sitting on your bum, lift your arms in a “goal-post” like way. Your partner will put his/her hands on the front of  your biceps and pull back. Hold for 30 seconds.

We finished the stretching off with some basic calf and tricep stretches.

So now, on to the music that I have been loving this week!

  1. Brand New (Band)

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Brand New is one of those bands that I have loved for a while now, but that I sometimes forget just how amazing they are. This past week I have been listening to these two albums, The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me and Daisy, non-stop. They are just so haunting and … I can’t even explain it. The song that I have listened to the most would definitely be Degausser (from the first album). So. Good.

  1. Chiodos’ (band) two new singles!

Again, I have loved this band for forever… probably since 7th grade. Their lead singer Craig Owens is one of my favorite people on the planet and i had the opportunity to see them perform live at Warped Tour last year.

IMG_9530  crummy photo I took there.

They are coming out with a new album (the first one since Craig re-joined Chiodos last year) in March and they currently have 2 singles from it titled “‘Ol Fishlips is Dead Now,” and “Why The Munsters Matter,” They are both amazing and I can’t even begin to describe how excited for this album I am.

 

And now I am off to go study for this MASSIVE anatomy test that I have tomorrow… Prayers for my passing this exam would be greatly appreciated. It’s on the entire muscular and skeletal systems… a lot of information. Oh boy…

Bye!

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“Because you are ours.”


Hey everyone, I just got back from a nice day and a half with my grandparents.

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It was actually quite the impromptu little getaway. My grandparents only just got down to their condo late Friday night. Early this year, the beginning of the school year actually, their condo got flooded and completely destroyed. Everything from the walls to the floor had to be ripped out, it was really bad. The condo just finished being rebuilt, but it is still completely empty in the sense that there is no furniture. There is only a washer/dryer, sink, dishwasher, fridge, and those types of things. I really wanted to get off campus and see them as son as physically possible, but I figured that they would want some time to settle in.

I was wrong.

While I was out for a run, I got a call from my gramma (I always answer her calls no matter what just in case something bad happens) telling me that they were on their way to pick me up… So I had to run back to my dorm, shower, shove some salad in my face, pack, and run out the door. It was quite the whirlwind.

Seeing my grandparents was, as always, amazing. I love them so much and I am so grateful to have them in my life. It was super weird seeing their condo so different and empty. Their condo has been my happy place, my safe place, since I was a newborn. I can close my eyes and tell you exactly where everything is… was.  It was just strange.

Most of the day was spent going through boxes of all that was salvageable after the flood.IMG_0995-2

Lots of pots, pans, and utensils! We still have so much more to unpack!

Next, I made dinner for my grandparents. Gosh I miss cooking so much.

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Super basic, yet yummy dinner of balsamic marinated chicken breast with lemon pepper, baked sweet potato and salad (with fat free croutons for gram 😉 ). Our dressing of choice was lite honey dijon vinaigrette. IMG_0950

 

And my plate, I got more sweet potato and salad!

This morning started off with a super slow 7 mile run. My legs were still absolutely dead, they felt like straight up lead. Still a beautiful start to the day though! Tomorrow I’ll take it easy!

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My favorite type of weather, grey and dreary but not cold.

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I got a little sweaty… On a side note, I absolutely love this VSX tank top! I normally don’t get their workout gear due to the fact that everything is a billion dollars, but this is so soft and light! Great for hot weather when you aren’t ok enough with your body to run in a sports bra. I have it in grey as well.

Showered and got myself some tasty breakfast.

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Never take having access to fresh fruit, spinach, and egg whites for granted my friends. I get way too excited about this breakfast.

Next we headed off to mass (I love staying with my grandparents because I actually get to mass on Sundays) and after we got some more errands done. The hunt for a kitchen table is on! Right now we are sitting at their tiny little table from outside… Doesn’t work all that well.

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Pardon how horrifying I look… Grandpa insisted on taking a picture.. But see how crowded that little table is! We are also currently using lawn chairs, not the best for my grandparents’ backs.

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All good days of errands end in Starbucks. My grandparents know the way to my heart.

I also got to do another one of my favorite things today.

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Sitting outside with some veggies and a good book! There’s no furniture outside so I just put down a towel over the concrete.

Unfortunately, I have class tomorrow so I had to go back to campus =(. We ended our night with a stop at Cracker Barrel (best. biscuits. ever) for dinner before heading back to Hell.. erm…I mean… school (ok I’m being dramatic, it’s not THAT bad).

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Bye for now!

 

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Style Saturday


Hey all! I’ve decided to do a weekly segment called Style Saturday! … Or at least that is what it will be temporarily called, I need to think of a better, less over-used name. 

This blog is called Snapbacks and Racing Flats for a reason. While I am extremely passionate about running and fitness in general, and while this blog is very much just a lifestyle (or just a life in general) blog, I also love fashion and makeup and music and the purpose of having this blog is having a way express all of my different interests. It is my outlet, since I know that my future career won’t be in all of the fields that I am passionate about.

So basically, I thought it would be fun to do a little segments about my personal sense of style every Saturday. What I am going to do is take certain items from my Pinterest and put them together into outfits that I either own or would love to own… or that I would love to be able to pull off…

Just a stupid little disclaimer here, but I just want to say that I’m not claiming to be any sort of super professional fashionista or anything. I just happen to really enjoy putting outfits together and spend WAY too much time on the computer doing so. 

So here we go!

 

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This outfit is just super duper casual and something that most emulates my everyday sense of style (minus the jeans, I hate how jeans look on me… wish I could pull them off though). Just an oversized band-t (Brand New!), distressed jeans that are cuffed at the ankle, converse, and a head chain to dress it up a little bit!

Head chain – SheInside

Brand New The Devil and God shirt – Hot Topic

Jeans – Charlotte Russe 

Sneakers – Converse

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This next outfit is a tiny bit dressier but still casual. I love a-line dresses more than anything, I think they just have such a youthful and casual feel to them. The little hearts on the tights add to the cuteness of the look and then some chunkie booties toughen up the look slightly.

Dress and tights – Oasap

Booties – Boohoo

I had one more look for you.. but unfortunately the program I am using to put the pictures of the clothes together keeps crashing. I’ll have to include it in next week. I hope you enjoyed this little segment and I look forward to talking to you guys tomorrow! Bye!

 

 

 

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Liberated


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So… remember that part time job that I got a few weeks ago?

Well, yesterday I quit that job.

Since I got the job, I had been having panic attacks every. single. night. I have anxiety, it is not uncommon for me to get panicky over little things and I have had many severe panic attacks over the course of my life. However, never in my life have I had so many extreme panic attacks in such a short amount of time. I am not exaggerating when I say that they were every singe night. Every night, when I would be trying to get some much needed sleep, I would not be able to breathe, all of a sudden I would be hysterical, shaking, and pulling out my hair. I felt as though my chest was being crushed. The worst part was that the sheer fact that I was having panic attacks over being overwhelmed because of my part-time job (in reality, there is much more going on that contributed to the attacks), made me feel like a failure for not being able to handle it.

The night before last, it was the absolute worst. It was honestly one of the worst panic attacks of my entire life. I had had a horrible day at work, they kept scheduling me for about 30 hours a week when we had agreed on 20 since I am a full-time student. They also kept scheduling me for Saturdays when I have no availability to work on Saturdays and whenever I would talk to them about it I would get yelled at. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but my manager was just so mean and honestly I am just bad at handling things. I am not proud of giving up, but there are so many things going on in my personal life and back home and with school and I just haven’t been doing well at all lately.

I happen to be really lucky to have the people in my life that I do. My best friends here at school, Shannon, went for a walk with me at 4 o’clock in the morning that night because she knew that things were really bad and I was really starting to scare myself. I needed to walk and get some of the anxiety out because if I had just continued to lay in bed, it just would have gotten a million times worse. She let me cry and spoke to me and gave me some really great advice.

“There is nothing, no part-time job, no school work, no situation, that is worth your sacrificing your health and happiness.” I know that it is nothing all that profound, but it was really what I needed to here. I knew that it wasn’t the right time for me to have a job, I knew that I was over scheduling myself and I knew that I took on too much too fast. At the same time, I needed the money, I was happy that I had a job, and more than anything, I didn’t want to make my mom, or my friends, think I am a failure. I am big on not quitting things, whether they be activities or relationships with people, even if they are making me miserable, because I feel like I am portraying myself as a failure.

The next morning, I sat in the closet of my dorm room and sobbed on the phone with my mom. She told me that she was proud of me and that I wasn’t a failure. She said the same thing to me that Shannon did, that nothing was worth sacrificing my health.

Sometimes you just really need to get your mom’s input before you make a decision.

So I quit my job. I’m terrified about money, but at the same time, I am also excited. For the first time in my life, I was to focus on the things that make me happy. I am going to work on my blog and the book I am writing and my running and I am going to start doing hot yoga again and I am going to do volunteer work. I am going to use this semester to focus on both school and healing myself.

The only good thing about all this stress? How amazing a run can make me feel after.

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I went out planning to run 3 miles… Wound up running 6. I just felt so free, I love running for that. I am so thankful to running, it is the only healthy coping mechanism that I have (I know that’s not good), and I am blessed to be able to run.

And now to heavily caffeinate myself and get some school work done! Lots of tests this upcoming week!

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