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The Existential Crisis


PLEASE tell me that one of you watches Danisnotonfire on Youtube and understands the reasoning for the title of this post.Image

But, I do really feel like I am having a bit of an existential crisis kind of thing currently… 

I know that basically all I have been doing recently on this blog is complaining about how I have no idea what I am doing with my life… But in all honestly, it’s all I have been thinking about. I am so overwhelmed by life and the meaning of it all and all that nonsense that I am actually having trouble just putting thoughts together.

So I have started a new mission…

Operation: Try to Feel Ok About Myself

Ok, it’s kind of a lamely titled mission… but you get the point.

I want… no… need to better myself in every way possible. 

Here are some goals on this mission:

  1. Feel better about my general appearance

              – little changes that will make me feel more like me. I started yesterday

Image

 

By dying half my head blue… Oops. It’s something that I have been wanting to do for forever, and it definitely didn’t come out perfect (I have never dyed my hair before) but I’m really loving it!

             -Another goal in feeling better about myself is losing weight… but at the same time I want to somehow figure out how to accept 

               and love myself as-is.

    2. Improve my running

             – I’m going to start getting serious about my training. This entails planning real speed work and pushing myself during that 

                speed work. It’s so simple to find a “sprint” speed and stick with that every speedwork session because it’s comfortable.

  3. Figure out what I am doing with my life.

             -This is a broad category.. but I just really need to get my stuff togehter.

 

I don’t know… I’m scared and excited to see what the future holds. I’m going back to see my old therapist tomorrow, hoping that maybe she can help me untangle the web that is my thoughts so I can get my head on a little straighter.

 

Now I’m off to spend some quality time with my cousins! I promise that I’ll start posting fitness things like a real healthy living/running blog soon =P

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