Hey everyone! So.. these past couple of days have been pretty darn crazy.
Well, first things first I guess… I am officially done with not only my first year of college (wow, I feel old), but with the college that a year ago, I seriously believed would be the place where I would one day call my alma matter.
Well, as I know all too well, things don’t always work out the way that you expect and want them to.
It’s funny (and kind of sad), to think about where I was at this point last year. I was in a high school that I believed that I hated (I actually miss it so much) and was nearing my graduation. I was a good student it school with a couple of really amazing friends that I am so thankful for. I was so excited to go to college and to begin studying what I thought would one day be my future career. I was so excited to have a fresh start. I was so excited to be forced out of my comfort zone. I was so excited to make friends.
I was so excited to maybe finally find true happiness.
And now here I am, leaving my school in Florida, heading home, and never looking back.
The fact of the matter is that is just wasn’t the right place for me. I honestly feel like I threw away a year of my life. I went into college feeling confused and overwhelmed by the idea of what I was doing with my life and my future (I think that’s pretty standard for college freshman) and am now leaving feeling more confused than ever. I feel like I set myself back a whole year and I honestly just feel like a complete failure. I didn’t do well in school (I have never gotten below a B before this year, and I went to a very challenging high school), I always had a couple of great friends, I was always involved in school and sport, I always felt like I had my head on somewhat straight. And now what?
Well, what I am trying to do is to focus on the positives from this past year, because there really were a few. Yes, the negatives from this past year definitely greatly outweigh the positives. But why focus on the negatives? One of my goals is to fill my life with more positivity, I have wasted way too many years feeling hopeless and powerless. I don’t want to live like that any more.
So here are a couple of happy memories.
1. At the beginning of the year, I went to the beach in Tarpon Springs with a couple of friends and witnessed one of the most beautiful sunsets of my life.
2. I met my writing professor and had the chance to take classed with her both in the Fall and Spring semesters. She saw something in my that I didn’t know existed and has given me the strength to follow my dreams and pursue writing. There are to words to express how amazing it felt to have someone other that my mom and my friends (who, let’s be honest, have biased opinions of me) believe in my and see some sort of potential in me.
3. I went to Bradenton and got to see the worlds oldest manatee!
4. I got the chance to go to Epcot in Disney!
5. Although I didn’t make a plethora of friends at college, I did make one amazing friend who I know will always be in my life. I am so thankful to have had the chance to get to know my friend Shannon and I can’t thank her enough for being the great friend that I needed to help me get through this crazy year. She has helped me through so much and I really am just so thankful.
So now I am currently writing this from a hotel room somewhere in South Carolina. Like I said earlier, between finals and moving out, this past week has seriously been a whirlwind. I am the actual physical definition of of burned out, I think my brain is actually mush. We have never actually driven that far before (the furthest I have gone by car is New York to Washington DC), so driving almost completely across the country is definitely a new experience for me! We have already driven all the way from St. Petersburg to South Carolina, so that’s about 8 hours of driving! And we still have 2 full days of driving ahead of us… (it’s about a 25 hour drive total).
Lucky for me, I have my mom to keep my company! We also went to Whole Foods and stocked up on snacks, so that’s definitely a good thing, and we got to have a super awesome meal here last night!
Blackened scallops, sweet potato (didn’t eat much of it), and the BEST red cabbage! Trying to keep it clean even on the road!
Another way that I’m keeping sane is by making sure that I am getting in a good workout in the morning before we start driving.
Yesterday, before we left, I went out for a 5 mile run to shake out my legs and to test out MY NEW SNEAKERS! After being less-than-impressed by the newest model of Mizuno’s Wave Riders (full review coming soon), after a ton of research, I wound up purchasing the Saucony Kinvara 5’s. I’m not really sure how I feel about them yet (I find that it always takes a few runs for me to get used to the feel of a new shoe, even if it is a model I have worn before, and honestly, I just really feel like I am cheating on my Mizunos! I have been wearing Mizunos ever since I started running almost 3 years ago and I am VERY emotionally invested in that brand… Probably so emotionally invested that it’s not normal haha.
Neon shoes are the best shoes.
Now we are packing up to leave on our quest to our next stop in Virginia. I started my day in the hotel “gym” (I put gym in quotation marks because it was honestly just a room with a treadmill and a stationary bike, but I made due) and did the newest Tone It Up interval workout and covered 4.02 miles! I love doing workouts that incorporate both cardio and strength training, no matter how minimal, when I am crushed for time because they’re all in one! They also just keep the workout interesting since you keep changing up what you are doing!
Now I am just sitting here munching on nuts and fruit, while my mom gets her things together to go.
Next stop…. hopefully somewhere to get an iced coffee the size of my head… but then, Virginia!