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Relocation and Smokey Brown Eyes


Hey everyone!

So I have some exciting, albeit totally terrifying (for me), news…

Next year, I will be moving to New York City.

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This is unbelievable to me… It’s so funny how much my life has changed from what I had thought it was going to be like.

I thought I would spend four years going to university in Tampa.

nope.

I thought that I would be pursuing a career in exercise science.

nope.

I thought my life would be so much better than it was in high school and that I would have lots of friends.

haha.

I feel like I wasted a year of my life going to the wrong college and having a completely horrific experience, but I know that if I hadn’t taken the jump out of my comfort zone and gone to school in Florida, I would have spent the entire rest of my life wondering, “What if?”

Now, I am so excited and so terrified. I will be going to school in the greatest city on earth, and I will also be living there!

I was notified last night that I was accepted into housing (bviously the limited housing offered by the college goes fast… cheap housing in NYC? That’s hard to come by).

If I’m honest, part of me was kind of hoping that I wouldn’t be accepted into housing. It sounds pathetic, but I had such a horrible horrible HORRIBLE experience with housing this past year and I am so scared that something like that will happen again.

But it won’t.

It can’t.

The more I think about it, the more hope-filled and excited I become. A journalism major living in New York City? What could be better? Plus, this is where I was supposed to be… I am sure of it.

When I was a little girl, I had this silly little pipe dream. I was going to go to Columbia University, live in the city during my college years, and become a writer.

Someone tell me why I ever shoved that dream aside.

The college that I will be attending wasn’t even on my radar when I was looking at schools, no school in New York City was. Why is that? It’s funny how often we shove our dreams and ambitions aside because that are deemed childish or impossible.

I am confident that this school, this major, this career path. This is where I need to be.

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Speaking of chasing those dreams that everyone else believes to be ridiculous…

I have started up my Youtube channel again!
I’m unsure if I actually have any blog posts on here (that haven’t been deleted) that mention my Youtube channel … but yeah, I have one!

Youtube has been something that I have wanted to do since 9th grade when I began to really get into makeup and fashion. In fact, my friends all encouraged me to make a channel back in 9th grade (I didn’t) because of my love of doing different makeup looks.

The main problem was, besides the fear of people from school finding my videos, was a lack of self confidence. The idea of putting myself on the internet for the world to see was unthinkable to me. I couldn’t do fashion videos because I believed that I was too large to look good in the clothing that I wanted to wear. I couldn’t do makeup tutorials because I felt that my face was too ugly to be able to be taken seriously for a, “beauty,” video.

Well… Here I am, years later, finally pursuing this whole Youtube thing. I love the idea of making videos and connecting and networking with people all over the world (Hey! That’s something that drew me to blogging as well!). I love the idea of not feeling so alone when you have someone comment on your video or blog post. It’s just one of those thing that I, lamely enough, feel like I am supposed to be doing.

Now, my confidence is still no where near high… Right after posting a video I have to force myself to not delete it right away. I am taking a risk and challenging myself, and I am proud of myself.

So, long story short, I made a makeup tutorial!

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I’m going to shamelessly self-promote my video and stick a link to it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykERPWofFcU

While I know that is no where near the super professional level of what seems to be most Youtuber these days, I am pretty darn proud of how it came out! It would really mean a lot to me if you guys would watch it and maybe even give it a thumbs up!

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Okay, I promise I’m done being annoying and self-promoting now!

In all seriousness, I am so thankful to the few of you that read my little, non-cohesive, rambley, and non-interesting blog. I apologize that all of my posts have been so heavy recently… Just have a whole lot of feeling you know?

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Thank you for taking time out of your day/night and reading this post and I will talk to you all tomorrow!

 

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