First things first, we NEED to talk about dinner.
I kinda-sorta went crazy in the kitchen haha.
What you are looking at is:
- roasted cauliflower, eggplant, and mushrooms
- beet “fries”
- portabello pizzas
- balsamic drizzled tomatoes with basil
I need to start including beets into my diet more often. I love them so much, always have, yet I always forget just how great they are! Also, cutting up a beet always results in the counters looking like a murder took place on top of them… Whoops.
So as for my workouts today…
I started off the day with Fitness Blender’s HIIT It Like A Girl 2 workout, had breakfast (guess what it was), and headed to the gym to complete this workout from Tone It Up!
Honestly, during my workouts lately, I have been feel especially weak and unmotivated during speed work/strength training lately. I can deny it all I want, but I know that I have been going overboard and falling back into bad habits with compulsive exercise.
Now, I know that an hour and a half of working out doesn’t seem like overexercising in any way, shape or form. Trust me, I am aware… But, as much as I wish that I could work out hours a day and feel fine, I can’t. My body just can’t handle it. That paired with improper fueling is almost definitely the reasoning behind my lack of energy lately and I know that I need to change it.
So where is the balance?
For me, as well as many other I’m sure, the hardest thing for me when it comes to running/working out in general is separating my working out because I love it and working out because I feel like if I don’t I’ll gain a million pounds in one day and lose all my fitness and the world will explode (wow, that’s logical).
When I first started running (as well as working out outside of organized sports) it was, like many other new exercisers, done mostly for weight loss. Quickly, I realized that I absolutely loved how pushing my body and learning was I was capable actually made me feel good about myself, a feeling that I very rarely felt. Needless to say, I was hooked.
However, even after my focus switched from working out for weight loss to working out because I loved it… There was still always that toxic nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that what I was doing wasn’t enough.
3 miles today? Is that a joke? *Insert blogger here* ran 10 miles today… Wow you’re pathetic.
Your pace was a 9 minute mile? Wow, and you call yourself a runner?
You want a rest day? You don’t work out enough to warrant getting a rest day.
Anyone else have this mean little voice in their head? Or am I sounding absolutely mental?
I hope it’s not the latter… Hah…
What I’m trying to say it, I know that I am slipping, and I don’t want that. I really want to up my mileage and start running longer and doing my speed work harder (because to be perfectly honest, my energy levels are too low to go all out). These things would make me happy. But right now, working out isn’t fun. It is just something that I have to do because there’s a bully inside of my head that is telling me that I am not good enough. But really, that bully in my head? Yeah. Figment of my imagination… So why am I listening to it?
Starting right now, I am making a pledge to work harder at finding balance with my eating and exercise. Obviously, I don’t expect my brain to do a complete 180 overnight… But baby steps are key! I need to learn how to to really listen to my body.
I need to learn how to be at peace with myself.
You are all wonderful and perfect ok?
Anyone else have a little bully that lives in their mind and tells them they aren’t good enough? How do you fight it off?