This is Tuesday’s post but it is going up on hump day. Why? Because blah blah I got home late blah blah excuses blah blah blah.
Yesterday started off with a 5 mile run! I really want to up my mileage a little bit so I turned what would normally be my weekly easy 4 miler into a 5 miler.
It was all fun and games until I got stopped because a train had to come by (for what felt like 2000 years).
Ever since I brought up my compulsive exercise tendencies on the blog, I have been trying to scale back a bit on all of the extra workouts that I was doing (running/workout + HIIT + toning every single day), and I have to say that, although it has only been a week, I was feeling a little bit stronger on my runs. However, yesterday I felt like I was absolutely dying on my run. My pace was above a 9 minute mile which I never run. My easy run pace is typically somewhere between 8:20-9:00 minutes per mile depending on the day… Which leads me onto the next topic that I really need to work on.
I need to not be so hard on myself.
I beat myself up over absolutely everything. No matter what it is I do, it will never be good enough. Now, the ridiculous part of this whole, “never good enough,” thing is… Who exactly am I not good enough for? I’m pretty sure that no one could care less about how fast I run or how much I run or how much I work out.
So what am I trying to prove?
Part of my trying to be kinder to my body is also trying to be kinder to myself as a whole. I don’t believe it wrong to assume that, more often than not, people are generally tough on themselves. We tell ourselves that we are failing someone… But that someone is ourselves. And if we are giving something our all, but still falling short of whatever unattainable “goals” that we set for ourselves, are we really failing?
I don’t know… Just some food for thought.
Tangent aside, it’s also pretty ridiculous of me to think that my body and energy levels will suddenly go back to normal after just a couple of days of only slightly cutting back on the exercise. It takes longer than that to recover, especially since I’m still not emotionally ready to give myself full rest days (which I know is really bad and I am working on it).
Some happier and less intense things (in no particular order):
- My mom made chili for dinner last night and it was fabulous. I love cooking for myself most nights, but you really can’t beat having food made by your mom every once in a while. I put my chili over cauliflower “rice.”
Cornbread recipe from The Fat Free Vegan. So. Good.
**(Side Note: I think I may turn into a head of cauliflower soon. I eat so much cauliflower it’s insane.)**
2. I filmed my new Youtube video for this week and today will be spent editing it and uploading it!
3. I spent some time last night with my oldest friend and dearest friend! She was the first real friend that I ever had (we met the first day of Kindergarten!) and although we don’t talk all the time anymore, she is one of those people that I could not see for a year and then hang out with her and it will just be completely natural. It was so nice to see her and catch up and reminisce about old times.
When I was little, I was so jealous of how many of these bouncy balls that she had and I even had favorites among her collection. See that clear blue one on the bottom left? Yeah. I wanted that darn bouncy ball so bad. Oh to be young again..
I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday (hey… alliteration!). I’m off to the gym.