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*Hecka Kawaii* And August Favorites


Hey everyone! Happy Friday!

Workout – Treadmill interval “endurance workout”

5 minute walk/jog warm up

Ladder:

1 minute fast

1 minute jog

2 minutes fast

1 minute jog

3 minute fast

1 minute jog

2 minutes fast

1 minute jog

1 minute fast

1 minute jog

(Repeat entire ladder one more time)

5 minute cool down.

All done at level .5 incline.

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I’m really wishing that I was home right now.

Today is the first day that I don’t have class since I came to school, meaning that is the first day that I am not harried and rushing around. This means that I have time to, well, think about things. And thinking about things leads to homesickness in my case.

The problem with the school that I attend is that it is largely a commuter school. This means that most of the student population (about 80% if I’m not mistaken) simply get on the subway, go to class, get back on the subway, and go home. This doesn’t leave much opportunity for meeting people or creating friendships.

In a traditional college setting, interacting with others and creating close bonds super quickly is extremely important. You are away from your home and your family and your friends. You are essentially completely alone, and this creates a sense of urgency in creating a relationship with the people around you. This way you feel less alone.

Now don’t get me wrong, I kind of thrive on being alone. My roommate hasn’t been here (I literally have only met her once and it was for about 5 minutes), so it has just been me. I wake up, I do my thing, I walk to school, I explore, I run errands. I lie being on my own. I am a deeply introverted person. That is not to say that I don’t like people (I actually did a whole post on introverted personality types and the stigma surrounding the introvert), I love people. I think people are great and I love interacting with others. That being said, I prefer to be alone most of the time.

And I feel bad about that.

The thing is, while I love being alone, I don’t love feeling alone. I also don’t love the fact that I keep thinking that if I don’t make super close friends as soon as possible, that I will be alone forever.

I want to have a great group of friends. I want to interact with others… Just not right now.

Does that make any sense?

I don’t know, I just don’t want to be friendless for the rest of my life. That is no way to live.

Moving on…

Due to the fact that I had some free time today, I decided to make good use of that time and head out to the Kinokuniya Bookstore (it’s the greatest place ever, let me tell you) to get the textbook that I needed for my Japanese class. I could have just gotten it through my school’s bookstore, but apparently I was going to get a 10% student discount at Kinokuniya, so I couldn’t pass that up.

Also, the idea of a Japanese store just was really really exciting.

And exciting it was. It was pretty much my definition of heaven on earth.

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An book of art from my favorite mangaka of all time, Arina Tanemura. The detail in her art is seriously unreal. I mean, look at that.

 

 

 

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Manga. Manga. MANGA!!!!

 

 

 

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I need that giant Rilakkuma plush in my life… I also need that Hello Kitty bento box.

Yup.

 

 

 

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Yes, I did wind up impulsively buying something, but I am proud of myself because I only bought one thing instead of the whole store.

Unless you count the coffee and Ume (pickled plum) Onigiri (Japanese rice ball) that I got from the cafe that was in the store…

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I wound up with a Japanese fashion magazine. I am obsessed with all things Japan… But their fashion is one of the things that I am the most in love with. I love it all from the ruffle-y hyper girly “kawaii” doll-like fashion to the more grunge Harajuku style fashion. It’s all so over the top and I love it so much.

All the fun aside, I did actually get what I was supposed to… i.e. my textbooks. My wallet hurts.

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My brain also hurts.

 

After I finally pried myself out of Kinokuniya (I seriously could just live there), I walked across the street into Bryant Park to drink my coffee, get some work done, and enjoy the beautiful weather.

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I also purchased 8 dollars worth of salad from Whole Foods and my wallet hurts even more now. I need to stop doing that.

And now, to go off and eat my overpriced salad whilst attempting to teach myself Japanese!

 

Oh, and if any of you have any interest in listening to me talking about makeup, fashion items, music, books, and other things that I loved last month… There’s a video for that!

 

Have a great night! 

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Uncategorized

WIAW 9.3.2014 – College Edition


Hey everyone!

Workout – Elliptical Intervals

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It’s been a while since I last did a What I Ate Wednesday post.

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Shout out to our wonderful host for this link up!

As per usual, I’m not exactly the best at taking photos of all of my meals. I also eat more in a ways that I eat small meals and graze the entire day (a bad habit that I am trying to break), so I don’t exactly have a photo of everything that I have eaten down to the last pretzel. However, as I mentioned in my first ever WIAW post, it’s not about being perfect! That is the beauty in this whole What I Ate Wednesday deal, it’s not about perfection or judgment or any of that.

Anyway, as you may know, yesterday was my first full day at school… So basically, it was my first day living on my own (plus roommate, but she hasn’t been here). The school that I attend doesn’t technically have dorms, there is student housing that is shared with students from other New York City schools, but it’s not a traditional dormitory by any means. Due to this, there is no meal plan of any sort… Meaning that I am responsible for buying all of my groceries and preparing all of my meals with nothing but a refrigerator and a microwave. Basically, I have to be both thrifty with my grocery shopping and creative with me meals.

I am thinking that once I get better at this whole eating as a student on a small budget with no kitchen whilst still eating healthy thing I will do a full on post about it. However, today is not that day and I am definitely still getting the hang of everything.

Breakfast – 

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Fat free vanilla greek yogurt with “rawnola” and coconut chips that I picked up from Fairway… Plus a whole bunch more coconut chips.

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Dang is right. These things are dangerous.

As per usual, I also had some cashew putter and frozen banana that I really didn’t need to have since I was full after breakfast… Again, the grazing is a problem.

 

Lunch – 

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You didn’t think that my snack plates wouldn’t follow me to school, now did you? I can’t have as much diversity veggie-wise since… well… I’m not exactly finically secure over here. Romaine and snap peas a carrots with hummus (tried Fairway’s brand hummus for the first time and it was AMAZING), sriracha, and Fairway brand mango salsa (so good).

Plus, pretzels and rice snacks and Brad’s raw chips from my snack drawer, all dipped in hummus or cashew butter (I have a problem).

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Dinner – So, the original plan was to have brown rice with steamed veggies and sweet chili sauce for dinner… But it was about one million degrees out yesterday and the last thing I wanted after walking through the heat was to eat something hot… So dinner wound up being an exact repeat of lunch… Whoops.

 

Unpictured – Crystalized ginger and dark chocolate covered ginger, more pretzels, cashew butter with pretzels and jam… The works.

 

 

Sorry today’s post was so choppy, Wednesdays are the days that I have all of my 3 hour classes! I think my head is still spinning from Japanese class this morning and now I am headed out to my next class.. I hope you are all having a wonderful day and I will talk to you tomorrow! =)

 

 

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Uncategorized

Sentence Per Photo


Hey everyone! I’m currently sitting outside on this (extremely humid) summer night and enjoying the company of my family… So I think it is a sentence per photo kind of night =).

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Gloomy runs are the best runs.

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8 miles to start the day!

 

 

 

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New shoes are super exciting.

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There is no such thing as eating too many smoothie bowls.

 

 

 

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Experimented with vegan scrambled eggs for my mom and it was a success!

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Editing = hours of looking at myself making weird faces.

 

 

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Also made greek yogurt “ranch dressing” with veggies for my relatives that are over!

 

Hope you are all having a wonderful evening!

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thinking out loud, Uncategorized

Thinking Out Loud 8.21.2014


Hey!

Wow, I’m actually posting something… And it’s on a Thursday, so you know what that means!

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Shout out, as always, to this link up’s lovely host.

1. Workout – 5 miles easy.

I have both a chest and head cold, so it goes without saying that this run was pretty meh. I had originally planned on going to the gym for some speed work before therapy, but I spent so much time talking myself out of it that I wound up too pressed for time… So a run it was! I almost stopped after 3 miles, but I didn’t have the time to walk the 2 miles home (I was running an out and back route)… So there’s that!

I normally do two a day workouts, but I was feeling so crummy all day that I wound up not doing anything but lying around and doing school things for a bulk of the day. I have to say, I am feeling extremely guilty and lazy and gross. Like I have mentioned a million times lately, I am gaining weight. Unfortunately, since I am very inclined to fall into unhealthy exercise and food habits, I have been feeling more and more pressure to workout as much as physically possible. This has resulted in my feeling lethargic, sick, and weak. I actually think that overtraining, in addition to stress, not sleeping, and grieving largely contributed to how sick I currently am.

2. New video went up on my Youtube channel yesterday!

Just me sharing a couple of things that I picked up from the thrift shop (I’m gonna pop some tags…) the other day. I know, so exciting right? Haul videos are actually one of my biggest internet guilty pleasures. I don’t know what it is, but I just love watching them… Even if they do just make me think about all of the things that I can’t afford.

*dramatic sigh*

3. I did a thing.

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Yes, it is actually green. Yes, it is actually that neon (no editing or enhancing). Yes, I may regret it kinda-sorta a lot. I didn’t think I dyed as much of it as I did… So now I have neon green hair. Not exactly the best way to avoid attention when you go out in public.

3. I am supposed to move into my dorm on Saturday. I am dreading it more than anything to the point that I am in complete denial of my actually having to go.

I don’t know if it is due to how traumatic my experience at my last university was, or if it just my severe anxiety over change… But I just really don’t feel like I can handle this. I am dreading it so much, but I should be excited.

Everyone I am friends with on Facebook is posting about how unbelievably excited they are to be going back to their colleges to their dorms and their lives and their friends. So why am I not? Am I really that much of a failure that I can’t even handle school?

I truly don’t know what to do. I am at a point where I don’t even know if college is right for me. Thing is, I can’t afford not to go.

Yes, I could live at home and take classes at my local community college. That would be comfortable. That would be safe. But there is no room for growth there. Yes, I would have significantly less anxiety over school if I were to go the community college route. But I would never get out of this rut that I am in. I would get up, go to class, come home, and repeat. Every. Single. Day.

I wouldn’t have anything driving me to branch out and meet people (not that I am really feeling up to doing that yet), or to get involved. I wouldn’t have anything pushing me to start living. I would continue to just exist. I would continue to waste this blessed life that I was given.

I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do. I am excited for my classes. I am excited to be in the city everyday. I am not excited to live away from home. I am not excited to not have access to everything that I am used to and accustomed to. I have a set routine that I live my life by, and I get panicky just thinking about not being able to stick to my standard routine. Throw in the fear that I am going to have a roommate that judges me or thinks I’m weird or crazy or one that bullies me like I did last year into the mix and you have the recipe for a full-on breakdown.

I’m just really not ready for this. But I have no other option. I really hope that I can get my head on straight soon, because right now I feel like nothing but a failure, not only to my family, but also to myself.

Wow, this just got real depressing real fast. I’m sorry guys, I’m just at a rough point in my life I guess and this blog, while I really want it to be a positive place, is my one and only outlet. Like, you guys reading are the only people that I really have to talk to. So, if you do read this blog or watch my Youtube videos, I just hope that you know how unbelievably grateful I am to you.

I hope you all have a wonderful night and I will talk to you tomorrow. Got to get back on that being-consistant-with-my-blogging grind!

Oh, and I just want to leave you with this quote that I found.

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=)

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Uncategorized

Music Makes Me Feel Alive…


Hey!

I have no idea why, but up until about 5 minutes ago, I was thoroughly convinced that today was Monday. I had just had breakfast, was making some green tea, and was going to sit down and write a Mental Health Monday post. Gosh, I felt so on top of things and productive… But apparently it’s Sunday. Whoops. So I have to changing gears a bit! Workout: My knee felt a little bit off today, so I figured it would be best to stick with a low-impact workout. Enter the stair master! IMG_6472 I went for one of my go to stair master workouts from Blogilates. As per usual, I adjusted the workout a bit to cater to my needs (I swapped minutes 28-35 with 35-45 and upped the steps per minute by about 10 for everything except for the warm up and cool down). I have to say, I don’t feel like I get the best workout in regards to my heart rate increasing and calorie burning when I do the stair master… I do, however, feel like a flipping beast. I actually remember my first attempt at the stair master. It was a couple of years ago, I had just come off of cross country season and was looking for a good way to cross train. Woman cannot survive on the elliptical alone (actually you can, but I just really wanted to try and be funny… fail), so I decided to hop on the stair master since it seemed like a great way to work my legs. I think I lasted 10 minutes… 15 at most. And this was right after cross country season, so I was definitely in shape. Better shape than I am currently. However, the muscles required for the stair master are obviously different than those used in running. I don’t know, it’s just kind of nice to be able to look back on that while I am doing a stair master workout as a reminder that I really have come far on this fitness journey of mine. IMG_6474 Not my best smoothie bowl. I still don’t have acai, so I made it with non-fat greek yogurt and it wound up just making me feel pretty sick. Normally, even though I am lactose intolerant, I can take greek yogurt due to the probiotics in it… Today was obviously not one of those days. So last night was pretty rad. IMG_6405   That photo was actually taken by my friend Cody (he’s pretty much the only friend I ever talk about on this blog… So if I ever say my best friend, I mean Cody) because I am approximately two feet tall and couldn’t see anything. He saw my struggle to get a photo and offered to take a few for me. What an angel that kid is. I’m sure that I have mentioned this before on here, but I live for live music. This summer alone I have seen Fall Out Boy, Paramore, State Champs, Yellowcard, Motionless in White, Mayday Parade, Front Porch Step, Say Anything, The Front Bottoms, Bowling for Soups, and now… Brand New!

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(I took this one… I may have had to stand on my tippy-toes to get it.)

If you have never heard of Brand New before, I strongly suggest that you check them out. Some of the songs I would recommend include: “Jesus/Jesus Christ,” “Sic Transit Gloria Fades,” “Guernica,” “Degausser,” “Daisy,”… Ok, I would honestly suggest any and every song by them.

Have you picked up on the fact that they are one of my favorite bands yet?

I get chills just thinking about the fact that I got to see them perform that song (my all time favorite by them) live last night. It’s surreal to me.

I just had a really good night and I am so grateful to have been able to get the tickets (I had to sit at my computer and buy them the second that they went on sale… Brand New tickets always sell out immediately), was able to experience live music that really elicits a special, almost indescribably so, feeling of gratitude and happiness within me, and that I was able to share the experience with my best friend.

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I am so thankful for the times that make me feel alive. I know that I have previously addressed that fact that most of the time, I feel as though I am not living but just simply existing… And last night made me feel alive.

I am just really happy.

 

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life, Uncategorized

Time To Live


Hey everyone!

I really need to start beginning my posts with something different than, “hey everyone” every. single. time.

Workout: 

Hit up the gym this morning some speed work!

Here’s how the workout goes:

3 minute warm up

6 minutes at tempo (7:30 min/mile)

3 minute recovery jog

5 minutes at tempo

2.5 minute recovery jog

4 minutes at tempo

2 minute recovery jog

3 minutes at tempo

1.5 minute recovery jog

2 minutes at tempo

1 minute recovery

1 minute at tempo

.5 minute recovery

3 minute cool down

This is one of my favorite workouts to do because it reminds me of tempo runs when I used to do cross country… Which just so happened to be, along with ladders, the workout that we all dreaded! When coach told us that the next day would be tempo day, we would spend the entire school day before practice freaking out! Obviously, we ran them much faster than I do now… Which kind of makes me feel crummy, but it also motivates me to really up my game with speed work and get back to where I once was!

Breakfast

You may need to sit down for this… I did something kind of crazy this morning.

I had something other than an acai bowl for breakfast!

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And guess what? That’s not a bowl of oats that you’re looking at either!

Can you guess?

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IT’S CAULIFLOWER!

I happened to be out of frozen acai packets, so I figured that it would be a good time to force myself to deviate from my usual breakfast routine (I am the very definition of a creature of habit) and try a recipe that I have been eyeing.

I first saw the idea for this grain free cauliflower-based “oatmeal” or, as they have been dubbed, cauli-oats, over on To Her Core  the other day and I have been thinking about it ever since.

It’s no secret that I love cauliflower… I mean, how can you not? It is probably one of the most versatile veggies out there. You can dip it, roast it, make it into pizza, make it into mashed potatoes, and now… You can even make it into a sweet breakfast!

If you think about it, we should all be inspired by cauliflower. It is the true physical embodiment of your ability to be anything that you want to be as long as you are willing to think out of the box and try.

Woah… Getting real deep over here on Snaps ‘n Flats…

Aside from the whole inspirational experience that is cauliflower… This breakfast was absolutely delicious! Mine didn’t come out quite as creamy and I had hoped, but it was still sweet and comforting and filling. You also definitely don’t taste it as cauliflower at all! I’ll definitely be making it again and am excited to try new flavor combinations. I kind of want to make chocolate cauli-oats… But the idea of chocolate and cauliflower together kind of turns my stomach.

Some other new things happening over here:

I attempted to cut and dye my hair and it kind of sort of came out as a disaster.

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I think that since the color was a pale mint color, I was supposed to bleach my hair white… But I wasn’t willing to do that to my hair so I just kind of went for it and now it’s all patchy and weird.

Yay.

Last night I also forced myself to leave the house (I have been having a hard time doing that lately) to meet up with my family for dinner on the beach.

Going out to eat, especially when it is with a large group of people, is always difficult for me. I have never been one to really enjoy going out to dinner, and now it’s at a point where it just makes me anxious. Part of my anxiety and food issues is control or a lack-thereof, and not having control over exactly what is going into the food I am eating, the portion sizes, and how the food is prepared just really makes me uneasy.

That being said, I am always super proud of myself when I do go out and eat without any issues. It shows that I really have made some progress, even if I don’t feel like I have!

We started off our meal with steamed mussels as our appetizer. We got two orders, one with red sauce and one with white and they were so flipping good! The mussels also came with bread (my favorite thing ever) for dipping and I think I ate a whole loaf.

Whoops…

For my meal, I opted for the Manhattan clam chowder with a side of steamed veggies.

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Any restaurant that gives you a plate of vegetables that is larger than your head is a winner in my book. The soup was also just as good as it looks.

 

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I also had a taste of my mama’s food (she got sesame tuna tacos with sweet potato fries) and I don’t know if it’s just because I don’t know the last time I had a sweet potato fry or what… But those fries were probably the greatest ones I have ever tasted. They had absolutely zero grease (greasy things sit in my stomach and make me feel sick) and had some pepper on them which contrasted so nicely with the sweetness of the… well… the sweet potato.

Fresh ahi tuna is always a winner in my book, so that was great too.

Also, we ate outside, and I guess the view wasn’t too bad.

IMG_6364 IMG_6343Something that I am really trying to work on is actually living my life.

I have always been an introverted person. I cherish my time alone and am ok with not always going out… But my already introverted personality has been amplified by my anxiety to a point where it is crippling.

I actually have a whole post about introverted personalities vs. social anxiety in my head that I need to post because I feel like all too often people think that they are one in the same… But that couldn’t be less true.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I close myself off from the world and I am sick of it. I don’t spend enough time with the people that I love and cherish more than anything because I’m too afraid of putting myself into a situation where I may have anxiety.

I don’t know, I just feel like I need to really acknowledge and admit to these bad… habits(?) that I have fallen into and that I need to change. I’m sick of just existing instead of really living.

So I am happy that I went out with my family last night. It sounds small and menial, but it was a large step for me and I am so happy that I did. I got to see my cousins and my cousin’s fiancé and my aunt… Just some really important people in my life.

It was also one of the first days where it felt like summer, which is kind of sad given that I only have two weeks until Summer!

So, I’m going to make the most of these next two weeks =).

Now I have a concert to get ready for. So excited!

I hope you all have an amazing day!

 

 

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Uncategorized, WIAW

WIAW 7.30.2014 – On The Road Again


Hey guys!

It’s Wednesday… You know the drill.

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Shout out to our lovely host for making this awesome link up possible!

Workout – Yesterday, my mom and I drove out to the Hamptons again (we just went last week) just to stay the night… So naturally, I was more than just a little stoked to be able to run out there this morning!

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My legs were super dead, so I set out with the intention of running 5 easy miles… Well, I wound up running 7 and walking 8. It was just so pretty and peaceful and the weather was perfect!

My mind said yes, my body said no. I don’t know if I will be out in the Hamptons again this summer though, so I really wanted to experience as much of it as I could. How dead my legs are going to be tomorrow will be so worth it.

Pre-Run: IMG_6032

Since we were only staying at my grandpa’s house in the Hamptons for one night, we didn’t bring any food with us, so there was nothing in the house.

To give myself a little bit of energy to power through my run, I snacked on some of the dried mango that I always keep in my car for… y’know… emergencies =P.

Breakfast/Lunch/Snacks: By the time my mom was up and ready to go into town for breakfast, it was almost noon! Needless to say, I was starving.

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Wow, this picture didn’t look this blurry and awful on my phone… Whenever I’m in the Hamptons, or away in general, I like to treat myself to coffee that could pass as a dessert. This baby has both vanilla soy milk and white chocolate raspberry (lactose free!!) creamer in it. Mmm!

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Also, no Hamptons trip is complete without stopping at our favorite health food store for some mixed nuts (unpictured… but I basically ate my body weight in them) and other goodies from the bulk bin!

 

 

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Weird combination of food, I know. I wanted fruit (KIWI!!!!), but then those roasted veggies looked so good that I just had to get them too.

 

 

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I am obsessed with these Bai drinks.

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Coffee #2

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The next couple of hours were enjoyed laying out by the water, reading my book, and enjoying some of the mixed nuts and other goodies (I am currently obsessed with crystalized ginger) while my mom walked around town.

That cube thing is a chocolate-chia-chunk made with nuts, dried fruits, and chia seeds. Tastes like a cookie! So good!

Then it was time to hit the road where more of the mixed nuts and treats were enjoyed.

When I got home, I got straight to making dinner for my mom (she stepped on a bee right before we left and her foot is scary-movie-esque swollen so I wanted to take care of her as much as possible) and making potatoes and eggs (a super simple family recipe that my grandma passed down to my dad who passed it down to me) for my grandpa as a thanks for letting us use his house.

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Whole wheat pasta with mushrooms, spinach, broccoli, edamame, and shrimp in a miso-sesame-wine broth. Master chef over here.

I snacked on all of the stuff that I was making while I was doing it, and then I was so over cooking by the time that everything was ready that a snack plate for dinner seemed like the only viable option.

Although, when isn’t a snack plate a viable meal option for me?

Post dinner I had a black bean brownie with walnuts that I made the other day, and now I’m having some ginger tea to help my stomach… Because my digestive system obviously hates me and likes to cause me to have tear-jerker level pain.

Now it is time for sleep!

Oh wait, before I go…

While Wednesdays may mean WIAW over here on the blog… On my Youtube channel, hump day means something totally different.

A NEW VIDEO!

Hope you enjoy =).

Good night!

Question(s):

Best thing you ate today?

Any current food/meal obsessions?

 

 

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