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Injured Again


Hey guys.

I really am trying to get back into the swing of blogging. Like I said the other day, I miss it. And I am in desperate need of an outlet… Especially now.

Warning: this post is going to be even more depressing and lacking in energy than usual. It will also very likely be mildly melodramatic. Proceed with caution.

Workout – 30 minute interval cycling workout on the stationary bike + 25 minutes of intervals on the elliptical.

So, as the title kind of already says, I am injured. Again.

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My life for a while.

During my run the other day, I was feeling sharp, but not unbearable, pain in my inner ankle/calf region of my right leg. I figured that the muscle was just tight, as my calve muscles typically are, and that the hills of Central Park were just getting to me. I thought I just had to get used to the uneven terrain and hills of Central Park. Nothing to worry about. I was just thrilled that the deep blisters on my heels were finally recovered enough to be able to actually run without having to stop due to pain.

The next day, I did speed work on the treadmill and felt fine. Actually, I felt great. Such a great workout. I was stoked.

So after my workout, I packed up my things and went home for the long weekend. That evening, I noticed that the muscle in my leg was feeling very tight again. Again, I didn’t really think much of it.

I spent that night at my grandparents’ house, and laced up the next morning for a 5 mile run. Well, I made it about 3 miles before I was hobbling and crying from pain. Being my insane self… I forced myself to do at least one more mile… And then I had to stop. I couldn’t take it.

I had a therapy appointment and had to drive out about 45 minutes in severe pain. I made an appointment with my chiropractor for right after my therapy session and rushed there after. Unfortunately, due to the new health care laws, my chiropractor isn’t really able to spend as much time with each patient as she used to. So I was hooked up to the electric stim machine to loosen up the muscle for a while, and then she came in, looked at it, told me to go get an ace bandage, and wrapped my leg up with ice. She also worked on the muscle a little bit and I, one who has a VERY high pain tolerance, was sobbing. I can’t even explain the amount of pain.

Needless to say… She told me not to run. I, being the emotionally unstable person that I am, started, to my complete mortification, crying… Yup. Crying. Right there in front of everyone. I felt like the world was ending.

Like I said, quite the melodramatic post.

Here’s the thing, I had just come from therapy, and that already typically makes me more emotional that I usually am (and I am already a pretty emotional person). I had just had a great session, we spoke about how I have been scaring myself lately with how low I have been. I have been unable to find it in me to even text my best and only friend, let alone attempt to make new friends at my new school. I haven’t been able to find it in me to do my school work. Leaving my dorm to go to class is unbearable. My only salvation? Getting up and running every morning. Joanne (my absolutely amazing therapist) said how important it is for me that I even get up in the morning to run. It is the one thing that allows me to face the world. It is the one thing that makes me truly grateful for the body that I have and that makes me think about how much I truly love this world. It is the one thing that keeps me going and feeling like maybe I may have some sort of purpose in this world. I spend most of my time feeling like a failure. I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I don’t know what I am meant to do. I don’t know what my purpose is. I hate my body. I don’t have friends and I don’t feel as though I can handle having friends right now, yet I am terrified that I will now be alone forever. I feel as though I am wasting my college experience and that I am wasting my life.

But running makes me feel a glimpse of hope. It is the one thing that can actually make me feel ok about myself.

With my being in such a truly terrible place right now… I need my running now more than ever. And I can’t do that.

On top of that, I have no idea when I will be able to run again. It is my favorite season for running right now, and it only lasts a few weeks. Also, like I addressed the other day, I have gained weight and I am not ok with this… And now I really can’t workout except for the bike.

I am just at a complete loss. And I know that I am being stupid and dramatic and trust me, I of all people know that there are much worse things in this world than a temporary injury preventing me from running. It is just that I have really been scaring myself recently and running was my only salvation. I just feel like it is always something going wrong and I just don’t know what to do. Also, my mobility is very limited. I have trouble getting up and down the stairs due to pain, and walking is painful and problematic… I am not good at sitting an doing nothing. Again, I feel as though I am wasting time.

I just don’t know.

Sorry! I’ll try to be more positive tomorrow. I just really needed to vent.

On a more positive note… I put up a new makeup tutorial today! It’s a fall look inspired by the iconic autumn drink, the pumpkin spice latte. Hope you enjoy!

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Friday Favorites, Uncategorized

Friday Favorites 7.25.2014 – So Much Link Love!


Hey everyone, happy Friday!

Workout: I got up bright and early to get my brother ready for junior life guarding and to get to the gym before heading out for an appointment.

I opted for the elliptical today since I did a long run yesterday and figured that it would be a good idea to go easy on my knee today.

I also tried out a new workout that I found on the POP Sugar fitness app! Did you know this thing existed? I just found it the other day and it’s great!

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I did this workout at a level 20 elevation and those sprints were brutal. 

I also added an extra 10 minutes of intervals before my final cool down for a nice 40 minute workout.

 

 

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I don’t know why there are tissues on the ground next to the elliptical.

So now let’s talk about some things that I have been loving this week.

This week’s favorites include more links to blog posts and recipes than anything else because it seems that while I was in a slump blogging wise this week… The rest of the world was on a roll with some quality posts and recipes!

Favorite Eat: 

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My korean chili stir-fry from the other day! So so good. I’m actually considering making this again tonight!

Either that or some sushi… Mmm.

Favorite Workout:

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Favorite Sip:

I could drink iced mochas all day, every day for the rest of forever.

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I just add chocolate to my regular iced coffee and BOOM dessert in coffee form!

Favorite Watch:

I have been obsessed with this Youtube channel this week! Wengie is actually the cutest person ever and I love her style and her everything and I may or may not have spent a bulk of this week binge watching her videos.

Seriously, check her out.

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Favorite Listen: 

I’ve actually been listening to a lot of K-Pop and J-Pop this week! Super fun to run to and so darn catchy.

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I used to listen to J-Pop all the time (mostly Ayumi Hamasaki and anime soundtracks… yes I am one of those people), but I kind of fell out of it. I forgot how much I enjoy this music!

Favorite Internet Finds:

And here’s the fun part.

Fashion – 

1. This simple look from I Dress Myselff.

I promised myself that I was done shopping for the summer, but I may need to make an exception for that t-shirt dress.

2. This dress is almost as gorgeous as the woman wearing it. Can you believe that Amber only just had her baby a little bit over a month ago?

Also, I wish more than anything that that dress was within my broke college student budget.

3. I just bought a similar pair of overalls to these. Here’s hoping I can actually pull them off!

4. I can’t even with this entire look. It physically hurts my soul that this outfit isn’t in my life… And even if it was, it wouldn’t look anywhere near as amazing.

Blog Posts – 

1. I know that this only just went up yesterday, but it deserves a mention. Sam’s guest post on Angela’s blog on body image was just wonderful and inspiring. I keep seeing this whole, “all you need to get a bikini body is a bikini and a body,” idea pop up all across the internet and while it’s awesome, it’s nice to see a post that dives a bit deeper into that topic. Plus I just love Sam and her blog and am so inspired by her progress in recovery!

2. These cupcakes! I actually made a batch of them in mini form today for a graduation party that I am going to tomorrow! Now if only I could make them look as pretty as Sally did… Alas, while I consider myself a pretty good baker, I am probably the single worst froster on the planet. Cake always winds up everywhere.

It’s bad.

3. 

Yes I am putting my own video here… Because what better place is there for shameless self-promotion than on my own blog? =P

In all seriousness, I am loving doing Youtube videos. Like, really loving it. It’s such a great outlet for me and I really hope to continue to learn how to film and edit and how to not be awkward in front of the camera and that I can really grow my channel. I just love it.

 

Goal for the night is to go to bed at a normal time! I’m actually going to get off of my computer and read soon….

After I watch a few more Youtube videos ;).

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