Friday Favorites, life

Five Things Friday 8.29.2014 – Focus On The Good


Hey everyone! Happy Friday!

I’m home for the long weekend (yes, I did only stay for one night… don’t judge), and I couldn’t be happier about that. It’s so weird, I really love New York City. When I am walking the streets, whether it be to my dorm, to class, or just wandering, I feel like I am where I am supposed to be. It is the idea of having a roommate to possibly judge me and to not have total control over my living situation that is making the idea of living there so panic-provoking. I honestly feel so pathetic just admitting the fact that all of my anxieties regarding school stem from my having to live with another person. That’s not normal at all right? And it’t not that my issue is sharing a space with someone, it’s just that I really like being alone and I guess it boils down to the fact that I have social anxiety and that this past year is has become uncontrollable and severe.

ANYWAYS, how about rather than rant about all of my issues that I truly don’t even have the right to complain, about, I talk about 5 things that made me happy today instead?

1. My Workout – I got to head over to Central Park for a 5 mile run and it was fabulous.

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Running in Central Park never fails to fill me with an all-encompasing sense of gratitude. I don’t know if it is due to the fact that it truly is an oasis within the concrete jungle of New York City or what… But it just makes me so thankful to be alive.

IMG_6952Also, I am definitely going to be working my legs a lot harder with Central Park being my running location whilst at school. My entire run was uphill (I’m not even exaggerating), and those hills were no joke! Coming from flat-as-can-be Long Island, I am definitely not used to hills! (If there is anyone who lives in the mountains, you are probably laughing at me… And rightfully so. I’m kind of a wimp with hills.)IMG_6945

2. I found a vegan takeout restaurant on my way back from Central Park and I am so excited because some of this items on the menu are actually affordable!

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Yay for 5 dollar vegan soups! Still definitely not something that I can afford to have all the time… But these types of things really excite me. I also may have to splurge every once in a blue moon and get a salad because they sound really good.

Post-run, I was sweaty and thirsty and those juices were so tempting…. But I can’t exactly dish out almost ten dollars on a beverage… *dramatic sigh*

3. New read!

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I got to the train station way earlier than I needed to, so there was time to bop around in the station. I wound up in the bookstore (I also almost missed my train because I lost track of time while in there… Books do that to me), and I wound up purchasing this little gem. I have been wanting to read Murakami’s books for forever, but I always forget about them when I am actually in the bookstore.

I read it on the train ride back and I am really loving it so far. I don’t actually quite know where the story is going yet, but I just really enjoy Murakami’s style of writing. He basically just writes in the unfiltered and sometimes nonsensical way that a person really thinks. I’m excited to keep reading!

4. I don’t know if it was because Murakami had Japan on my mind or what… But I spent most of my afternoon looking into possible study abroad opportunities in Japan. There is actually a winter session program that occurs in Tokyo and centers around creative writing… A dream come true for me.

Now, you guys don’t know this about me, but I am, and have always been, absolutely obsessed with Asian culture, namely Japanese culture. I love everything from the history of feudal Japan, the tradition, the food, the fashion, the music… I could actually start to tear up from just thinking about some day traveling to Japan. It is one of my biggest dreams.

I know that the studying abroad most likely will never happen. It’s a ridiculous amount of money and that is money that I don’t have… But hey, maybe if I work my butt off and stop spending money (it’s bad), I’ll be able to save up by my senior year. Here’s hoping.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that with Asia on my mind, I ventured out to my local asian grocer for the first time and it was glorious.

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Matcha, ginseng tea, barley tea, brown rice for school, koala cookies (too good), herbal facial sheet mask, and, last but not least, a dragon fruit! I’m so excited to try it tomorrow!

5. Being home. I know that I was only gone for a night, but once the long weekend is over and class really begins to be in session, I know that I will not be home a lot. I just want to enjoy my home and my family as much as I can.

Good night!

Question(s):

1. Tell me something that made you happy today.

2. Ever study abroad? Where? If you could study abroad, where would you go?

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Music Makes Me Feel Alive…


Hey!

I have no idea why, but up until about 5 minutes ago, I was thoroughly convinced that today was Monday. I had just had breakfast, was making some green tea, and was going to sit down and write a Mental Health Monday post. Gosh, I felt so on top of things and productive… But apparently it’s Sunday. Whoops. So I have to changing gears a bit! Workout: My knee felt a little bit off today, so I figured it would be best to stick with a low-impact workout. Enter the stair master! IMG_6472 I went for one of my go to stair master workouts from Blogilates. As per usual, I adjusted the workout a bit to cater to my needs (I swapped minutes 28-35 with 35-45 and upped the steps per minute by about 10 for everything except for the warm up and cool down). I have to say, I don’t feel like I get the best workout in regards to my heart rate increasing and calorie burning when I do the stair master… I do, however, feel like a flipping beast. I actually remember my first attempt at the stair master. It was a couple of years ago, I had just come off of cross country season and was looking for a good way to cross train. Woman cannot survive on the elliptical alone (actually you can, but I just really wanted to try and be funny… fail), so I decided to hop on the stair master since it seemed like a great way to work my legs. I think I lasted 10 minutes… 15 at most. And this was right after cross country season, so I was definitely in shape. Better shape than I am currently. However, the muscles required for the stair master are obviously different than those used in running. I don’t know, it’s just kind of nice to be able to look back on that while I am doing a stair master workout as a reminder that I really have come far on this fitness journey of mine. IMG_6474 Not my best smoothie bowl. I still don’t have acai, so I made it with non-fat greek yogurt and it wound up just making me feel pretty sick. Normally, even though I am lactose intolerant, I can take greek yogurt due to the probiotics in it… Today was obviously not one of those days. So last night was pretty rad. IMG_6405   That photo was actually taken by my friend Cody (he’s pretty much the only friend I ever talk about on this blog… So if I ever say my best friend, I mean Cody) because I am approximately two feet tall and couldn’t see anything. He saw my struggle to get a photo and offered to take a few for me. What an angel that kid is. I’m sure that I have mentioned this before on here, but I live for live music. This summer alone I have seen Fall Out Boy, Paramore, State Champs, Yellowcard, Motionless in White, Mayday Parade, Front Porch Step, Say Anything, The Front Bottoms, Bowling for Soups, and now… Brand New!

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(I took this one… I may have had to stand on my tippy-toes to get it.)

If you have never heard of Brand New before, I strongly suggest that you check them out. Some of the songs I would recommend include: “Jesus/Jesus Christ,” “Sic Transit Gloria Fades,” “Guernica,” “Degausser,” “Daisy,”… Ok, I would honestly suggest any and every song by them.

Have you picked up on the fact that they are one of my favorite bands yet?

I get chills just thinking about the fact that I got to see them perform that song (my all time favorite by them) live last night. It’s surreal to me.

I just had a really good night and I am so grateful to have been able to get the tickets (I had to sit at my computer and buy them the second that they went on sale… Brand New tickets always sell out immediately), was able to experience live music that really elicits a special, almost indescribably so, feeling of gratitude and happiness within me, and that I was able to share the experience with my best friend.

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I am so thankful for the times that make me feel alive. I know that I have previously addressed that fact that most of the time, I feel as though I am not living but just simply existing… And last night made me feel alive.

I am just really happy.

 

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A Couple of Reasons To Smile


Workout:

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Tried a new type of interval training from Women’s Health called the B.I.T.E method. You can read about it here. I’m not 100% sure how I feel about it yet. I set 6mph as my start point (which can I just say is SO FLIPPING HARD on incline 8) and added .1 to all of the increases to make it a little bit more challenging. I’m going to need to do it a couple more times and adjust it accordingly before I decide how I feel about this type of training. Always fun to try something new though!

Hey guys!

So it’s been a couple of days since my last post. For the most part, I took a little break from social media in it’s entirety. Didn’t post. Didn’t read blogs.

I did put a picture on instagram though…

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I really wish that I could give you some deep and meaningful reason for my (short) hiatus from the world. I wish I could say that I was “taking time to embrace the world around my by cutting ties with the electronic devices that have taken so much from our society and blah blah blah…”

But I can’t.

If I’m completely honest, I have just been spiraling downward lately and it got to a point where I just shut down completely.

I really am trying to keep this blog a positive place, I swear. But at the same time, I can’t be fake… Even if it’s through a computer. I can’t write about my day with enthusiasm while I am actually falling apart.

So I just didn’t post anything.

Again, I don’t want to post too many negative things on here, so in a nutshell, I had severe panic attacks two days in a row, one of them being in the movie theatre with my best friend and the other one being at work.

Yup. At work.

I actually started shaking and crying and my coworker sent me to the restroom to try to calm down and I couldn’t and she was so unbelievably sweet and kind to me and went to talk to my manager who pulled me aside and, after speaking with me and being far kinder to me than I deserved, sent me home.

And that was that, my last day working that job… And I feel pathetic. Why can’t I handle something as simple as a part time job?

Woah. Ok. Those thoughts aren’t for this place.

Anyway, I left work and contemplated just driving home. Instead, I decided to take the initiative and try to do something positive for my mind and body instead of laying on the floor at home feeling sorry for myself (unfortunately, it is my first instinct to do this when things get bad). So I got myself a coffee with all the fix-ins and drove myself to the beach to take a therapeutic walk along the boardwalk while the sun set.

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I know this probably seems ridiculous, but I am actually proud of myself for going on this walk. For whatever reason, while a majority of me wants to get better and live a happy and normal life, there is a small part of my brain that is holding onto my mental illnesses with all that it has.

And this part of my brain is strong.

I am so resistant to anything that can possibly help me get better. Even when we are doing our work in therapy I can feel my brain screaming, “No! I don’t want this!”

And how is that productive?

So what I’m saying is, just the fact that I took the initiative to drive to the beach, a place that has always brought me great joy, and go for a walk instead of driving home where it’s “safe” is a big step for me.

We live in a really amazing world, and I hate that so many of us don’t realize it or can’t realize it. There is so much happening, whether it be mental illness, business, or just plain disinterest, that is keeping us from truly living the lives that we should be living.

I want to travel. I want to see the world. You know that feeling where you look up at the sky and it’s so beautiful that it almost feels like you are seeing it for the first time?

I want to experience that more.

I want to be happy.I want everyone on this planet to be happy.

That being said, I just wanted to share with you a couple of things to smile about today.

1. Trying new treats!

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Ok, maybe this pertains only to me… But I went grocery shopping and found some new goodies to try. This makes me a lot happier than it probably should.

2. This article on instagram and what pictures make it look like is happening vs. what’s really going on.

You’ll laugh. I promise.

3. Munchkin kittens.

Their little legs… I can’t.

4. Not a cat person? I got you.

5. Don’t like animals? Here’s some cute breakfast foods with faces.

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Still not smiling?

Go outside, take a deep breath of fresh air, and remember how lucky you are to be here on this earth. It sounds corny, but it’s true, and it’s something that we as humans too often forget.

 

 

Thank you for reading. Hopefully I’ll be back in the swing of things tomorrow. I have orientation for college in the morning. Oh gosh.

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