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This Was Supposed To Be A Five Things Friday Post.


Hey everyone! Who’s stoked it’s Friday?

Workout – Insanity Plyometric Cardio Circuit.

So nice to be home for the weekend and able to do Insanity. I miss it when I’m at school! This morning’s workout was originally meant to be a run.. But I had to drive my mom to the train station and my brother to school and I wound up just not having enough time to get in the miles that I wanted to before having to get ready and leave for therapy.

This blog has officially become the most neglected thing in my life (ok, that may be a stretch). In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not exactly a particularly interesting person, nor is my life all that exciting. I have a lot of thoughts that I would love to go on about and share with the world… But they don’t all exactly fit into a nice clean package. What I’m saying is that I am the very definition of a mess. I want to blog about health. I want to blog about eating disorder recovery. I want to blog about my life (who the heck would care about that?!). I want to blog about running. I want to blog about the environment. I want to blog about fashion. I want to blog about music. I just want to write. Basically, I am all over the place… And this results in my getting very overwhelmed (I get overwhelmed way too easily, it’s something that I am working on). Once I’m overwhelmed, I start spiraling down into an anxiety attack. After this begins, I begin to mentally tell myself off for my having no right to be overwhelmed when there are so many people (most people actually) who do so much more than me and get it all done and still have free time and social lives. This results in guilt. Which, you guessed it, results in more anxiety. And the kicker here? This all results in nothing getting done. Basically, I don’t know what I am doing with this blog. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself because I really would love for this blog to become something. It may sound pathetic, but the only type of job that I can see myself having any success in in the future is one that involves blogging or Youtube or anything of the like. Again, it sounds stupid. I know. I mean, I just sound like a spoiled little kid who doesn’t want to get a “real job” ever… Right? The thing is, just with the whole anxiety thing… Being trapped in an office all day or having a very strict schedule just seems like it would result in my having a meltdown. That all being said, hopefully if I keep working at it and meditating and going to therapy, I’ll be able to get over all of this depression and anxiety and then, who knows, maybe I will, somehow, have some actual success in something one day. I don’t really know. I just hope that it’s possible for me. I fee like such a dumb kid with a bad case of, “special snowflake,” syndrome. I know that so many people struggle with my exactly mental issues and I know that many people have it so much worse than me (I’m not saying I have a bad life by any means, just that I have a bad mental state)… And they have success in life and drive and they… They have lives. So who am I to think that I have the right to struggle? Who am I to keep screwing up? To haul myself up away from the world because it all just seems to big and scary and overwhelming? Who am I to think that I can maybe be someone one day instead of having to fall into the the routine of the endlessly getting up daily and going to work in a place that I hate so I can have money to support myself? Who am I to think that maybe I could be different? I just … I don’t know. Oh. As per usual, I sat down to write a light-hearted post about things I’ve been up to lately and instead wound up spewing out a whole bunch of nonsensical angst and musings. Welcome to Snapbacks And Racing Flats kids. But seriously… I apologize if you read my blog. Does anyone read this thing? Hellooooo? I’m currently sitting in a Starbucks with my coffee (blonde roast with soy milk is pretty delicious fyi) and am trying to somehow get my Youtube video that should already be up edited. DSCF3271

Yeah.. Um… this happened. I really wanted to do some sort of Halloween-themed video since I absolutely love Halloween but never get to celebrate it because, well, no friends. Unfortunately, I obviously have no idea why I am doing and my attempt at a Tim Burton’s The Corpse Bride themed makeup look wound up looking like… well… this.

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I also can’t even begin to explain to you what a mess I made of my dorm room while trying to maneuver all of the different face paints and things while filming.

I know that my Youtube channel isn’t exactly ground-breaking or entertaining or even quality… But I am really loving doing it. Aside from school, I feel that I don’t have menu things really driving me in life right now. Yes I have running and I want to train more and get my distance up and sign up for a half-marathon once I have the money… But other than that, I am really struggling to find a sense of purpose.

Now, I know that saying that my little Youtube channel with it’s couple of viewers gives me and my life meaning sounds pretty obscene… But, it does. My Youtube channel is an outlet for me to express myself and be creative and express myself.

It’s no secret that I struggle with self-esteem and body image and, well, human interaction. So this channel is really a way for me to challenge myself. I’m editing my video right now, and I can’t tell you how disgusted I am looking at this thing. Not only did I film this right after getting back from a run (probably not my best idea)… But I can see in in relation so some of my videos from the summer and it is so noticable in my face that I have put on weight.

Needless to say, I would rather not upload this thing.

But I’m going to. I am challenging myself to not care and to try and accept myself as I am and put myself out there. It’s terrifying… And exciting.

And now I am off to finish editing this video and go grocery shopping! Exciting times guys. Exciting times.

To end this post on a happy note, here’s a photo of an adorable puppy in a frog costume.

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Oh, you are so welcome.

I don’t know.

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recovery

Fat Is Not A Feeling


Hey all!

Workout –  I had originally planned on swimming this morning since I haven’t in a long time… But quite honestly, I just wasn’t feeling it.

Instead, I went for Insanity Asylum’s Game Day. Definitely my favorite workout from the Asylum vol. 1 version of Insanity.

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No Shaun T… It most certainly does not.

Breakfast – Breakfast was kind of sort of super exciting today. Actually, it’s always exciting… I just really love smoothie bowls guys.

But what made today’s meal extra special was this little guy.

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Dragon fruit!

You guys may have seen that I went to the asian grocery store near my home yesterday and came home with one (way too expensive) fun new fruit to try! 

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I really wasn’t expecting dragon fruit to be as mild as it is! I thought it would be sweeter, but it actually doesn’t have all that much flavor (or at least mine didn’t). Very nice and refreshing and I loved the crunch of all the little seeds in my smoothie. 

Plus, it’s just a really cool fruit to look at!

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So what I want to address today is something that I have (obviously) been struggling with for quite some time.

Feeling fat.

We have all, at one point or another, thought or uttered something along the lines of, “I feel fat today.” I mean, I know that I personally am guilty of saying that exact sentence (often accompanied by an “ugh”) at least once a day, often more.

But here’s the funny thing, fat is not a feeling.

Look at any list of the spectrum of emotions and I will guarantee you that never once will you find the word fat there. Happy? Yes. Angry? Yes. Disgruntled? Indeed. Fat? Nope.

You know what fat actually is? A macronutrient. 

Yes, fat can also be used as an adjective in describing a creature with an excessive amount of, well, fat. Fat is a substance. Fat is not a state of being.

Recently, I have been finding that I have been having “fat days” more often than not. And what is a “fat day” you ask? Well dear reader, a “fat day” is defined (by me) as one of those days where you wake up and the first thing that comes to mind upon getting up and moving your body is, “Ugh, I feel/am so fat today.”

Now here’s the thing, while some of those “fat days” that people have sometimes have a reasoning, whether it be a PMS symptom, a result of eating too much salt the night before, etc.. More often than not, the person having the “fat day” will, in fact, look and weight the same as he/she did the day before. They just can’t see it.

It’s all about perspective. 

The funny thing about feeling fat is how completely normal it seems in todays society, when, in fact, it is one of the most nonsensical idea/statement there is. How can you “feel” something that is not an emotion. I don’t wake up and say, “I feel protein today.” It’s basically the same thing.

I found this little cartoon online that I believe sums up the topic of fat as a feeling absolutely perfectly.

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So there you have it. Next time you find yourself “feeling fat,” I need you to promise me that you will remind yourself that you can’t feel fat. It’s not a state of being. 

Also, you are not fat. You are a person, a wonderful shining human being with hopes and dreams and ambitions and what is, I bet, a kick-butt personality to boot.

You are not fat, you have fat. You also have bones and organs and muscles. You are not any of those things either. 

I just need you to know that you are you and that in itself is something to cherish and be proud of. 

I hope you all have a wonderful night and I will talk to you tomorrow Good night =)

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Uncategorized

A New Beginning


Hey!

WorkoutInsanity Cardio Power and Resistance. My arms will indeed be feeling it tomorrow.

At this point, I am just blogging from my phone because my computer is about so slow that I might as well be using dial-up for internet.

Also, I know that I have been super inconsistent with blogging lately, and it’s really bothering me. Thing is, amidst losing Grace, getting ready to to leave for school, and personal issues that I have been dealing with, this blog has kind of taken a back seat. However, I believe that as of today, that will change. I think things may finally be starting to calm down. Here’s hoping.

Anyways…

So, today was the day.

Move in day at my new college.

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Hi Times Square. I love you.

This morning, I was forced to finally accept the reality that is going away to college (when I am dreading something, I have this bad habit of convincing myself that it’s not really happening). It’s not school itself that I was dreading, it was (and is) the unknown. It is not having complete control over my surroundings or my situation.

I know that in saying this, I probably come off as the biggest brat on the planet, but not having control over roommate situations (when she will be in the room, how loud she will be, how many people she will have in the room, what time she will intend to stay up until), sharing the building with people who blast music at all hours of the day (I don’t know if this will be a reality at this school yet, but it definitely was an issue at my old school), and having to deviate from my normal routines (both food, exercise, and just general living) absolutely freaks me out. Seriously, just writing it out is making my heart race.

The problem is also that I really don’t mind living with other people. I’m not complaining about having to share a small room with someone. I’m just freaking out because I don’t have control over my environment, and that is a major anxiety trigger for me.

Also, it definitely doesn’t help that I have no ability whatsoever to assert myself. I would much prefer the people I am surrounded by, or living with, to be happy and to get there way than to argue someone and make them not like me. Again, this is something that I need to work on.

Ok, so now to digress from that little tangent I went off on… This morning, my mom and I packed up the car and drove into the city to go see where I will be living for the next year.

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It was also my mom’s first time driving in Manhattan (we always just take the train into the cities and then either take subways or walk to our destination), so everyone give you a round of applause for conquering such a feat as New York City driving.

Upon arriving at the building that I guess I will be calling home for a while, it was an absolute madhouse. It took my about 20 minutes just to figure out how to get myself all checked in and to get my room key made (worst. id photo. ever.). Then it was another long weight to get my hands on a bin for us to use to get my stuff up the the room.

But somehow, we eventually made it.

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I’m planning on decorating and making my space cute and individualized. Last year, I really never “moved into” my dorm. It was used simply as a place to study, store things, and change my clothes. I barely even slept in my room because my roommates would harass me if I tried to. This year, I really want to focus on making the most out of this little space and filling it with things that will fill me with happy thoughts and good vibes. Basically, I’m just going to hang up a ton of fairy lights and concert posters.

 

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There’s a massive window in the room. You have no clue how happy this makes me.

 

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My roommate actually never showed up, so I have no idea what is going to happen.

Furthermore, my classes don’t actually start until Thursday (though I do have housing orientation in my building on Monday). Then, I only have one class on Thursday, no class on Friday, and off next Monday due to Labor Day. After much thinking, I decided to spend a bulk of this week at home, and will most likely spend next weekend at home as well. The main reason that I wasn’t completely certain if I should spend another week at home was because I didn’t want my roommate to think that I was weird for not staying in the room this week.

Well, it looks like I don’t even have a roommate yet, and I think that it will alleviate some anxiety if I make the transition over to living in my dorm as opposed to here at home as slow and painless as possible. I don’t know, maybe it sounds immature… But I just feel like I’m in a very fragile state right now. I need to take care of myself instead of constantly worrying if other people will think that I am weird.

I also think that a lot of my anxiety over school is due to how incredibly awful and traumatic my experience last year was. I’m not sure if I have ever mentioned this on the blog.. But last year was a really rough one for me. Apart from struggling immensely with both my mental and physical health, my roommates made sure to make my life a living hell. They would spread lies about me, talk about me and make fun of me when they knew I could hear them, come into the room late at night screaming and shaking my bed to wake me up, and many other things. I am just so scared that something like that is going to happen again.

But really, I just need to take a step back and remind myself how lucky I am to be able to be going to school and studying something I love in the city that I love more than anything. I have always dreamed of living in New York City for a period of time, and I am actually going to be able to live that dream this year. I need to make the best of the situation at hand, whether it wind up being awful or amazing. I need to do this to prove to myself that I am not a failure.

I need this to be my year. And I hope that it will be.

 

Question(s):

Anyone who has been or is currently in college – Did you have a roommate? Any horror stories? Any great stories? What was your favorite college memory! Tell me! I want to know!

What songs have you been listening to lately?

I currently have Sanctuary by Utada stuck in my head, and I am certainly not complaining. Quality song right there.

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Uncategorized

Orientation And I Really Like Salad Bars


Hey everyone!
I’m feeling a little bit more ok than I did yesterday. Still feeling really bad body-image wise and I’m feeling very unmotivated workout wise… But my anxiety hasn’t been bad today so I am thankful for that!

Workout:

This morning started off with a 5:30am wakeup call to complete Insanity Pure Cardio before having to get ready and leave for the train into the city for orientation!

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The high point of my morning was the fact that I got this coffee for free.

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I was in desperate need of coffee, so I grabbed a cup from the coffee “shop” (it’s a table in the waiting area) at my train station… Only to realize that I didn’t have any cash on me.

I apologized a million times to the guy working and as I went to walk away he told me that I could just take the coffee with me.

God bless the good people in the world.

My day also included getting kicked in the shin by a woman on the subway because I was too close to her (it’s a crowded New York City subway.. there was no where else for me to be) and winding up on the wrong train home and winding up stranded in a town pretty far from home without any phone (it had died).

Such fun.

On the up side, orientation went well and I feel like I know the school a little bit better now! Apparently there are 4 levels to the basement of the main building and there is a gym, racquetball courts, and fitness studios down there for students to use. How cool is that?

Also, THEY HAVE SPIN CLASSES! I haven’t taken a spin class since school ended because you need to sign up for spin at my gym 24 hours in advanced and I always get too freaked out to call the gym… So I’m super excited to be able to get back into it once school starts! I also really want to try to get my spin instructor’s certification this year. I had meant to get it last January, but life happened and I never got around to it.

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I really do love the city.

 

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And it’s been a while since I have posted a creepy photo of myself on the good ‘ol blog, so here you go.

Another thing I realized today is that I have an unnatural obsession with salad bars. I don’t know if it’s because they seem to be nonexistent where I live or that I like the idea of serving myself things or what, but I literally can never pass up a good salad bar.

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I went into one of the little food marts in Penn Station to get a drink and walked out with this little snack. The roasted cauliflower got me. I looked so good that I couldn’t pass it up. There were also some (insanely good) mushrooms and squash(es?) in there with sweet potato and a small portion of cole slaw because apparently I love that all of a sudden.

Oh! And beets!

When I finally got home, I found out that my mom was/is really sick and was in bed so I went out to get some soup for her.

And wound up picking up a small portion of goodies from the grocery store’s salad bar…

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This may be the grossest looking photo I have ever seen.

The only issue that I have with salad bars is the fact that they go by weight and me, being the cheap person that I am, always wind up getting pretty much nothing but still having to pay a lot because I tend to gravitate towards the heavier items like beets.

Seriously though, there are no places that I know of with good salad bars where I live. Heck, the closest Whole Foods is almost  45 minutes away! Yes, I do love the salad bar at that wonderful establishment… but not enough to drive for over an hour for it.

You know where seems to have good salad bars? Utah. I always see Janae and Megan posting these awesome salads (um… I need to experience Cafe Rio at some point in my life) and now I’m just thinking about food and rambling about salads and I think that that may indicate that it is time for bed.

A lot to get done tomorrow. I will talk to you all then!

Goodnight!

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Mental Health Monday, recovery, Uncategorized

Mental Health Mondays – Types of Outlets and Finding Yours


Happy Monday to you all!

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(Source)

Workout: 

Today was supposed to be a swim day… But after the long and late night that I had last night (there was a baptism at the restaurant I work in last night and let’s just say that it was the craziest and busiest night I have ever had), I decided that it would be best to silence my 6am alarm in favor of another hour or so of sleep.

So Insanity it was!

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My legs and arms are absolutely dead. The great thing about Insanity is that it is all plyometrics, which happens to be my favorite form of cross training! This workout in particular really works the arms, shoulders, and legs (hence the power and resistance in the name =P)… So I am counting it towards my goal to incorporate more strength training in my weekly workouts!

Speaking of those goals…

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You all know that I love my smoothie bowls, and the last couple of days I have incorporated greek yogurt into them to get some quality protein into my system!

I have to say, by adding the greek yogurt I have really been feeling fuller for longer. Plus it makes the consistency of the smoothie bowl a lot creamier! What I have been doing is sticking the greek yogurt into the freezer before my workout in the morning so that by the time I am ready to make my breakfast, it is slightly frosty but not frozen solid.

I also threw some blueberries into this bowl! Look at me changing things up! 😉

So it’s been a couple of weeks since my last Mental Health Monday post. Like I said in my first HMH post, it’s not meant to be a weekly series. I don’t want to put up posts on a topic that is so important to me just for the sake of getting one up each week. I both want and need to be able to put my heart and soul into these posts and I want them to be helpful.

That being said, today I want to talk about different types of positive outlets and how to find the one that is best for you!

So what is a positive outlet?

A positive outlet is, by my definition, an activity that is used as a way of coping with bad thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The point of having and utilizing these activities is to find healthy and productive ways of dealing with what would usually be a destructive and sometimes dangerous thought patterns.

An outlet can be anything from art to meditation to physical activity.

So where should I start?

I have found, from experience with multiple therapists and doctors, that when one is told to find an outlet… He or she is normally told what to do instead of being given different options.

“Listen to this motivational CD each night while you fall asleep.”

“Meditate.”

“Write it down.”

And trust me, I have tried it all.

And guess what?

None of it worked.

And why?

Because none of those things are enjoyable to me.

So now what?

You find what’s best for you.

Trust me on this, if you hate mediation, then you are doing yourself absolutely no favors by forcing yourself to mediate simply because it’s “the way” to cope with bad thoughts.

Honestly, by forcing yourself to partake in certain conventional coping mechanisms that you hate you will, more likely than not, just create more anxiety within yourself.

And how is that productive?

It’s not.

Now, obviously I don’t know what positive outlet is best for you, nor do I know every single type of outlet on the planet. In fact, no one does. The possibilities are endless! For a positive outlet to be successful in helping you cope, it needs to be individualized for you and your interests and needs!

That being said, I want to share some of my favorite outlets with you to give you somewhere to start. I also want to give examples of different outlets that may cater to different types of people.

So here we go.

For The Creative Type:

1. Write out your feelings… Buy yourself a nice notebooks (I find that having a cute notebook makes me happy and more likely to actually write things down) and write down your thoughts and feelings. This is the most basic form of an outlet. You get to get your feelings out without actually having to tell your deep dark secrets and less-than-cheerful thoughts to an actual person.

2. Write a blog. Now, it’s not normally ideal to spill all of your dark thoughts out on the internet. I mean, that’s as public as it gets. That being said, I know from personal experience that venting on a blog makes me feel  better than just writing in a notebook would because I feel like people  are actually listening even if they’re not. 

A good option as far as what I’ve decided to call diary-blogging goes is to create a blog (Tumblr is great for casual venting) and keep it anonymous. Just write your thoughts and feelings, but leave out any personal feelings. This way, there’s no worrying about someone you know seeing all of your deep dark thoughts.

3. Self help books. Find ones that interest you. My mom loves Wayne Dyer, I can’t get through a page of his books. I like more casually written, almost conversational types of self help books while others may prefer a more scholarly type. It’s all about finding what would be best for you.

4. Self help workbooks. I love these. Basically, they are activity books that cater to your specific needs whether your struggles are with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, OCD, etc. I own this one and I absolutely love it because it focuses on healing through creativity. I have always been an artistic person, and I feel as though my struggles with my mental health have created a road block in my motivation to be creative. So this is a perfect way to get back into things while also bettering my mind! I truly do find it helpful and it’s fun for me so it’s a great outlet!

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For The Mental-Emotional Type:

While I know that the creative type and the mental-emotional type are normally lumped together as being one-in-the-same… But this is not always the case. 

1. Meditation. I know what you’re thinking, “How much more basic can you get?” But it’s important to remember that there is not just one way to meditate. You don’t need to just sit in a quiet room and reflect. Meditation comes in all different shapes and sizes and the only way that it will be helpful is if you find the type that you actually enjoy doing.

So some types…

– Guided meditation – there are all types of guided mediation. Some include visualization, while some focus mainly on times breathing. There is a huge selection of different types of guided mediation sessions on Youtube. There are also CDs that you can buy, but I would recommend the free alternatives until you find the type that is best for you.

– Personal meditation. This is just you, a quiet space, and your thoughts. This is where you attempt to calm your own mind, set intentions for the day, and focus your thoughts on positive ideas.

– Prayer. Basically the spiritual side of personal mediation. I know that prayer has gotten certain members of my family through some really really horrible times. It’s a great option if you are religious.

For The Physical Type:

Personally, exercise has always been my main outlet. I would seriously lose my mind without it. The goal when you using exercise as an outlet is to focus on light to moderate exercise in lieu of more intensive anaerobic or HIIT style workouts. It is no secret that it has been scientifically proven that exercise helps alleviate stress. However, this only applies when the exercise is light to moderate. While you may feel good after high intensity exercise, it actually acts as a stressor… So be wary! I’m not saying to never do high intensity exercise, but if you are trying to exercise away anxiety, it may not be your best option.

Some ideas/examples:

1. Running at an easy to moderate pace for a set period of time.

2. Swimming laps at an easy to moderate pace.

3. Horseback riding… This may sounds a bit odd, but I swear, the combination of the physical activity, your mind being challenged to maintain proper form on the horse (IMPORTANT!), and being around animals (though, if you’re not an animal fan I would assume that this wouldn’t be the best idea) makes equestrian one of the most peaceful and calming activities that I have ever participated in.

4. Dancing it out! … This is good for the body and the soul. How can you not smile while dancing around like a fool to your favorite music? Want to step it up a notch? Grab a wooden spoon or a hairbrush and pretend it’s a microphone while you are dancing and singing. I dare you to not smile while doing this =).

 

In Conclusion…

Obviously, I haven’t even covered a quarter of the possibilities for positive outlets… These are just a few tried and true methods to hopefully get yourself up and on the path to a healthier mind and a happier you.

Just remember that it is crucial that you find what is best for you. Hate running? Don’t do it! Do you have a passion for puppetry? Heck, go for it girl/dude!

This is your journey to happiness, and only you know what is best for you!

I hope you found this helpful, and I will talk to you all tomorrow =).

 

Question(s):

Do you have a positive outlet for when times get tough? What is it?

 

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Uncategorized

Monday Minutes


Hey all.

Today was another day full of getting things done for this upcoming school year. I seriously can’t believe how much goes into transferring colleges! I expected it to be a lot easier than this.

This morning started with Fitness Blender‘s “When I Say Jump Workout” before taking my brother to school.

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After taking him to school, I had to rush to make a train into the city to take care of some things for school. I also had to take the subway for the first time by myself. EEK!

It actually went pretty smoothly. It took me a while just to navigate my school itself (the amount of people who asked me if I was lost is embarrassing), but eventually I found the Health Office where I had to turn in my immunization forms and now I am finally cleared to register for classes!

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Also, apparently cupcake ATMs are a thing.

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HOW COOL IS THIS THING? I kind of really wanted to try it out, and I don’t even like cupcakes!

Alas, I did not try out the fancy cupcake ATM… Perhaps another time.

I wound up getting lost on my way back to the train station (I walked all the way there from school which wasn’t my best idea), and only just made my train. I had planned on doing a little shopping around and exploring while in the city, but that didn’t wind up happening. Guess that’s better for my wallet though!

I did, however, find an awesome and new-to-me snack for the train ride home!

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This stuff is really really crunchy and is actually really good as long as you don’t mind the taste of spirulina (the other flavors mask it, but since it’s so strong you still taste it). I don’t really like that one of the ingredients is sugar but hey, it’s not too shabby for a snack I picked up from a drug store!

When I got home, I ate and hung out for a bit, spent way too much time trying to register for the classes that I need to take (most of which are already full), and finally did Insanity: Plyometric Cardio Circuit. I don’t think I will ever get sick of the Insanity workouts.

I really need sleep and the goal here is that I am going to try to actually get to bed before midnight tonight.

Hope you all had a great day!

 

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Guys. Guys. Guys.

I am beyond stressed. It’s actually insane how stressful and complicated this whole transferring schools things is…

Now, I actually feel bad complaining about myself being stressed, because I know that I definitely have it easier than most. I don’t have kids or bills or a full time job.

I woke up this morning and completed Turbo Jam’s Fat Blaster workout for my morning cardio (or as the Tone It Up community would call it, my “bootycall”!). This has been one of my go-to “bootycalls” for over 3 years now. It’s quick, gets my heart rate up without being too difficult, and it’s super fun!

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Chalene Johnson is honestly one of my biggest role-models. She’s just fabulous in every way shape and form. Admittedly, one of my goals in life is to meet her/attend a class of hers one day. Her positive attitude is infectious enough just over her social media, I couldn’t imagine how great it would be to be in a room with her!

Fan-girling aside, the rest of the morning, and a large bulk of the day, was spent one the computer/on the phone trying to sort out the million-and-one problems that have arisen with my transferring schools. First, I received notice that my housing deposit hadn’t been received (I sent it in over a week ago), and that I would have to be wait listed for housing if it wasn’t in by today. After hours of sorting that out, I had to take care of holds on my account that prevent my registering for classes (I’m not even sure if it’s all sorted out yet).

Then there was accessing my transfer-evaluation report… It was a nightmare.

According to the report, only 8 of my college credits transferred over to my new college. 

I don’t even know what to do about this! I had 39 credits at the end of my freshman year! I knew that I would lose some… But this is ridiculous! I wasted a year of my life and a sickening amount of money and have absolutely nothing to show for it. After a year of college, I will be entering my new school academically as a first semester freshman. How will I graduate in 4 years?!?!??!!

Ok.. Calming myself down now. So sorry that you all had to experience that little rant.

So, after that whole mess… I needed to de-stress.

De-stressing included:

A wonderful workout of Insanity: Max Interval Sports Training.

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(This is my all-time favorite workout in the Insanity program by the way).

Stress-cleaning the kitchen and my bedroom.

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(This actually resulted in more stress. Nothing. Is. Ever. Clean. Enough.)

And, of course, some stress baking.

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The delectable bread pictured here was actually the result of my being completely experimental in the kitchen. I’m so proud!

I am always hesitant to experiment with my own recipes due to the fact that ingredients are expensive (especially the ones that I want to use, like coconut flour, stevia, etc.)… But I always want to! I find cooking and baking so therapeutic, and I have to say… Creating my own recipe and having it result in something that was actually edible was a great feeling!

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What we have here is a gluten-free and low sugar protein pumpkin bread! I will say, the consistency is not exactly perfect (the protein powder in it makes it a mushy kind of consistency)… But I think it’s pretty darn good for my first attempt at something like this!

It’s also under 100 calories per square, but also contains 5 grams of protein per square, so I’m not complaining!

In the mix:

3/4 C Plant-based Protein Powder (I used Rainbow Light Vanilla… I would recommend SunWarrior or Perfect Fit in it’s place. I think the consistency would be better!)

1 C Buckwheat Flour

1/3 C Brown Sugar

1 T Vanilla Extract

1 t Baking Powder

1/2 t Baking Soda

1/3 C Liquid Egg Whites (I’m sure flax eggs would work too!)

1 Can Pumpkin Puree

1 T Pumpkin Pie Spice

Cinnamon to taste

Bake in a 9×12 baking pan at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until you can stick a knife/toothpick in the middle and have it come out clean.

Cut into 12 squares and enjoy!

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Aw. Look at me trying to pretend that I’m a food/recipe blogger.

A girl can pretend right?

Hope you all had a less stressful Monday than I did!

 

 

 

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