Uncategorized, WIAW

WIAW 7.30.2014 – On The Road Again


Hey guys!

It’s Wednesday… You know the drill.

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Shout out to our lovely host for making this awesome link up possible!

Workout – Yesterday, my mom and I drove out to the Hamptons again (we just went last week) just to stay the night… So naturally, I was more than just a little stoked to be able to run out there this morning!

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My legs were super dead, so I set out with the intention of running 5 easy miles… Well, I wound up running 7 and walking 8. It was just so pretty and peaceful and the weather was perfect!

My mind said yes, my body said no. I don’t know if I will be out in the Hamptons again this summer though, so I really wanted to experience as much of it as I could. How dead my legs are going to be tomorrow will be so worth it.

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Since we were only staying at my grandpa’s house in the Hamptons for one night, we didn’t bring any food with us, so there was nothing in the house.

To give myself a little bit of energy to power through my run, I snacked on some of the dried mango that I always keep in my car for… y’know… emergencies =P.

Breakfast/Lunch/Snacks: By the time my mom was up and ready to go into town for breakfast, it was almost noon! Needless to say, I was starving.

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Wow, this picture didn’t look this blurry and awful on my phone… Whenever I’m in the Hamptons, or away in general, I like to treat myself to coffee that could pass as a dessert. This baby has both vanilla soy milk and white chocolate raspberry (lactose free!!) creamer in it. Mmm!

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Also, no Hamptons trip is complete without stopping at our favorite health food store for some mixed nuts (unpictured… but I basically ate my body weight in them) and other goodies from the bulk bin!

 

 

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Weird combination of food, I know. I wanted fruit (KIWI!!!!), but then those roasted veggies looked so good that I just had to get them too.

 

 

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I am obsessed with these Bai drinks.

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Coffee #2

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The next couple of hours were enjoyed laying out by the water, reading my book, and enjoying some of the mixed nuts and other goodies (I am currently obsessed with crystalized ginger) while my mom walked around town.

That cube thing is a chocolate-chia-chunk made with nuts, dried fruits, and chia seeds. Tastes like a cookie! So good!

Then it was time to hit the road where more of the mixed nuts and treats were enjoyed.

When I got home, I got straight to making dinner for my mom (she stepped on a bee right before we left and her foot is scary-movie-esque swollen so I wanted to take care of her as much as possible) and making potatoes and eggs (a super simple family recipe that my grandma passed down to my dad who passed it down to me) for my grandpa as a thanks for letting us use his house.

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Whole wheat pasta with mushrooms, spinach, broccoli, edamame, and shrimp in a miso-sesame-wine broth. Master chef over here.

I snacked on all of the stuff that I was making while I was doing it, and then I was so over cooking by the time that everything was ready that a snack plate for dinner seemed like the only viable option.

Although, when isn’t a snack plate a viable meal option for me?

Post dinner I had a black bean brownie with walnuts that I made the other day, and now I’m having some ginger tea to help my stomach… Because my digestive system obviously hates me and likes to cause me to have tear-jerker level pain.

Now it is time for sleep!

Oh wait, before I go…

While Wednesdays may mean WIAW over here on the blog… On my Youtube channel, hump day means something totally different.

A NEW VIDEO!

Hope you enjoy =).

Good night!

Question(s):

Best thing you ate today?

Any current food/meal obsessions?

 

 

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life

A Sentence Per Picture


Hey friends!

Another day where I am blogging from my phone due to lack of wifi.

Due to this, I would say that it’s a sentence per picture kind of day.

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Slow recovery runs are wonderful.

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A necessary part of any road trip.

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Hamptons, I’m coming for you.

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These shorts are way too small and way too short and it kind of sort of made me miserable for a majority of the day.

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Nothing fixes a bad mood like a walk on the beach.

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There’s nothing better.

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Nothing says Montauk like eating at Gosman’s Restaurant.

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Fresh muscles with a lemon broth for tons of bread-dippage.

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Quotes and happy things.

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Hello lover.

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What if I painted my room to look like Ben and Jerry’s?

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Why?

I hope you are all having a terrific Tuesday! Talk to you tomorrow!

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Mental Health Monday, recovery, Uncategorized

Mental Health Mondays – Types of Outlets and Finding Yours


Happy Monday to you all!

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(Source)

Workout: 

Today was supposed to be a swim day… But after the long and late night that I had last night (there was a baptism at the restaurant I work in last night and let’s just say that it was the craziest and busiest night I have ever had), I decided that it would be best to silence my 6am alarm in favor of another hour or so of sleep.

So Insanity it was!

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My legs and arms are absolutely dead. The great thing about Insanity is that it is all plyometrics, which happens to be my favorite form of cross training! This workout in particular really works the arms, shoulders, and legs (hence the power and resistance in the name =P)… So I am counting it towards my goal to incorporate more strength training in my weekly workouts!

Speaking of those goals…

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You all know that I love my smoothie bowls, and the last couple of days I have incorporated greek yogurt into them to get some quality protein into my system!

I have to say, by adding the greek yogurt I have really been feeling fuller for longer. Plus it makes the consistency of the smoothie bowl a lot creamier! What I have been doing is sticking the greek yogurt into the freezer before my workout in the morning so that by the time I am ready to make my breakfast, it is slightly frosty but not frozen solid.

I also threw some blueberries into this bowl! Look at me changing things up! 😉

So it’s been a couple of weeks since my last Mental Health Monday post. Like I said in my first HMH post, it’s not meant to be a weekly series. I don’t want to put up posts on a topic that is so important to me just for the sake of getting one up each week. I both want and need to be able to put my heart and soul into these posts and I want them to be helpful.

That being said, today I want to talk about different types of positive outlets and how to find the one that is best for you!

So what is a positive outlet?

A positive outlet is, by my definition, an activity that is used as a way of coping with bad thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The point of having and utilizing these activities is to find healthy and productive ways of dealing with what would usually be a destructive and sometimes dangerous thought patterns.

An outlet can be anything from art to meditation to physical activity.

So where should I start?

I have found, from experience with multiple therapists and doctors, that when one is told to find an outlet… He or she is normally told what to do instead of being given different options.

“Listen to this motivational CD each night while you fall asleep.”

“Meditate.”

“Write it down.”

And trust me, I have tried it all.

And guess what?

None of it worked.

And why?

Because none of those things are enjoyable to me.

So now what?

You find what’s best for you.

Trust me on this, if you hate mediation, then you are doing yourself absolutely no favors by forcing yourself to mediate simply because it’s “the way” to cope with bad thoughts.

Honestly, by forcing yourself to partake in certain conventional coping mechanisms that you hate you will, more likely than not, just create more anxiety within yourself.

And how is that productive?

It’s not.

Now, obviously I don’t know what positive outlet is best for you, nor do I know every single type of outlet on the planet. In fact, no one does. The possibilities are endless! For a positive outlet to be successful in helping you cope, it needs to be individualized for you and your interests and needs!

That being said, I want to share some of my favorite outlets with you to give you somewhere to start. I also want to give examples of different outlets that may cater to different types of people.

So here we go.

For The Creative Type:

1. Write out your feelings… Buy yourself a nice notebooks (I find that having a cute notebook makes me happy and more likely to actually write things down) and write down your thoughts and feelings. This is the most basic form of an outlet. You get to get your feelings out without actually having to tell your deep dark secrets and less-than-cheerful thoughts to an actual person.

2. Write a blog. Now, it’s not normally ideal to spill all of your dark thoughts out on the internet. I mean, that’s as public as it gets. That being said, I know from personal experience that venting on a blog makes me feel  better than just writing in a notebook would because I feel like people  are actually listening even if they’re not. 

A good option as far as what I’ve decided to call diary-blogging goes is to create a blog (Tumblr is great for casual venting) and keep it anonymous. Just write your thoughts and feelings, but leave out any personal feelings. This way, there’s no worrying about someone you know seeing all of your deep dark thoughts.

3. Self help books. Find ones that interest you. My mom loves Wayne Dyer, I can’t get through a page of his books. I like more casually written, almost conversational types of self help books while others may prefer a more scholarly type. It’s all about finding what would be best for you.

4. Self help workbooks. I love these. Basically, they are activity books that cater to your specific needs whether your struggles are with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, OCD, etc. I own this one and I absolutely love it because it focuses on healing through creativity. I have always been an artistic person, and I feel as though my struggles with my mental health have created a road block in my motivation to be creative. So this is a perfect way to get back into things while also bettering my mind! I truly do find it helpful and it’s fun for me so it’s a great outlet!

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For The Mental-Emotional Type:

While I know that the creative type and the mental-emotional type are normally lumped together as being one-in-the-same… But this is not always the case. 

1. Meditation. I know what you’re thinking, “How much more basic can you get?” But it’s important to remember that there is not just one way to meditate. You don’t need to just sit in a quiet room and reflect. Meditation comes in all different shapes and sizes and the only way that it will be helpful is if you find the type that you actually enjoy doing.

So some types…

– Guided meditation – there are all types of guided mediation. Some include visualization, while some focus mainly on times breathing. There is a huge selection of different types of guided mediation sessions on Youtube. There are also CDs that you can buy, but I would recommend the free alternatives until you find the type that is best for you.

– Personal meditation. This is just you, a quiet space, and your thoughts. This is where you attempt to calm your own mind, set intentions for the day, and focus your thoughts on positive ideas.

– Prayer. Basically the spiritual side of personal mediation. I know that prayer has gotten certain members of my family through some really really horrible times. It’s a great option if you are religious.

For The Physical Type:

Personally, exercise has always been my main outlet. I would seriously lose my mind without it. The goal when you using exercise as an outlet is to focus on light to moderate exercise in lieu of more intensive anaerobic or HIIT style workouts. It is no secret that it has been scientifically proven that exercise helps alleviate stress. However, this only applies when the exercise is light to moderate. While you may feel good after high intensity exercise, it actually acts as a stressor… So be wary! I’m not saying to never do high intensity exercise, but if you are trying to exercise away anxiety, it may not be your best option.

Some ideas/examples:

1. Running at an easy to moderate pace for a set period of time.

2. Swimming laps at an easy to moderate pace.

3. Horseback riding… This may sounds a bit odd, but I swear, the combination of the physical activity, your mind being challenged to maintain proper form on the horse (IMPORTANT!), and being around animals (though, if you’re not an animal fan I would assume that this wouldn’t be the best idea) makes equestrian one of the most peaceful and calming activities that I have ever participated in.

4. Dancing it out! … This is good for the body and the soul. How can you not smile while dancing around like a fool to your favorite music? Want to step it up a notch? Grab a wooden spoon or a hairbrush and pretend it’s a microphone while you are dancing and singing. I dare you to not smile while doing this =).

 

In Conclusion…

Obviously, I haven’t even covered a quarter of the possibilities for positive outlets… These are just a few tried and true methods to hopefully get yourself up and on the path to a healthier mind and a happier you.

Just remember that it is crucial that you find what is best for you. Hate running? Don’t do it! Do you have a passion for puppetry? Heck, go for it girl/dude!

This is your journey to happiness, and only you know what is best for you!

I hope you found this helpful, and I will talk to you all tomorrow =).

 

Question(s):

Do you have a positive outlet for when times get tough? What is it?

 

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Uncategorized

Check In and New Goals For The Week


Hey everyone.

Workout – Another speed workout!

Warm up – 2 minutes walk, 3 minutes jog.

Workout –

1 minute run fast

2 minutes jog recovery

repeat 5x

30 second sprint

1 minute recovery

repeat 10x

Cool down – 5 minutes jog to walk.

All done at level .5 elevation.

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Aaand breakfast.

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I have to say, this was the first time ever that I was actually able to taste the spinach in my smoothie bowl! So weird! It was still yummy though!

Also, remember those cupcakes I mentioned on Friday?

Yeah. They were a big hit.

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I brought them to my cousin’s graduation party yesterday and they got rave reviews!

And I must say, the frosting job also wasn’t too shabby (for me… I’m the worst at frosting things). Very proud of myself!

Last Sunday, I set a few goals for myself for the week. So, I thought that I would perhaps do a little check in and update you all on how I have been doing in regards to reaching those goals!

Goal number 1 was to drink green tea. This was definitely the simplest goal that I set for myself, and it was definitely the one that I had the least trouble accomplishing.

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The only downside to all the tea drinking is that as my tea intake goes up, my water intake goes down. I suppose that green tea is hydrating though so it’s ok… But still.

Unfortunately, the whole drink more green tea thing was the only goal that I really nailed this week. I did make some progress I guess, but not as much as I would have hoped I would.

I guess that breaking certain habits and changing behaviors takes time! I should be happy with the progress I am making instead of focusing what the progress that I haven’t.

Two of the goals that I set for myself were to eat more protein and to eat more normal meals. I will admit that my snack plates have still appeared more than once daily for meal… But I have taken a small step in the right direction!

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I cooked up this stir fry twice this week for dinner!

 

 

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And at yesterday’s party, I stepped way out of my comfort zone and challenged myself to some potato salad. I actually really don’t like potato salad at all.. But that stuff was so flipping good! That chicken teriyaki was also amazing (and yes, my food choices completely contradict yesterday’s post… I still don’t know what to do).

I know that it probably seems silly to consider something as simple as eating normal meals a challenge… But it’s something that I really struggle with. I know that my eating habits are bizarre most of the time, and honestly, I am embarrassed by it. I want to live this healthy lifestyle and my disordered eating habits are preventing that lifestyle that I want from being a reality.

 

I’m not setting many more goals for myself this week. I want to give these things that I am still struggling with all of my attention.

However, I do have one more goal to add to my list, and that is to incorporate more strength training into my weekly workout schedule!

I used to be super disciplined in doing strength training almost daily, but I sort of fell out of that habit when I went away to college and didn’t have my own set of dumbbells.

But now, being home, there really is no excuse.

As a distance runner, it should come as no surprise that I love my cardio. But I know that strength training is a crucial component in injury prevention and in improving my overall fitness!

Also, on the more shallow side of things, I have lost a lot of strength and muscle tone and am just generally not feeling good about my body and want some of my toned-ness back!

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So here goes nothing!

Now I have to go work. I’m apparently going to be there until almost 1 in the morning… So I’m kind of freaking out.

Bye!

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life

The Great Veganism Debate


Just a heads up that this post may be quite controversial and I really hope that it doesn’t anger any of you that may be reading it.

So I have been mulling over whether or not to write a post about this for quite some time now… It’s something that has been on my mind non-stop lately and I just really need to get my thoughts out before I explode.

Also, I would just really love to get other people’s perspective on this topic.

Should I be a vegan?

Upon reading that question, I am sure that some people would scream, “Absolutely! Meat eating is evil!” and some would scream, “Absolutely not! We humans are meant to be omnivores!”die

And then there would obviously be some that would be completely indifferent… Because why would my choice of diet have an affect on anybody but me?

And shouldn’t it just be a simple choice?

If I am feeling as though I should be a vegan. If I am feeling this… guilt… gnawing away at me, then shouldn’t I just make the switch?

But it’s not that simple. It’s not that black and white.

And also, I’m less sure that the guilt that I am feeling is due to my diet, or the way that people make me feel about my diet.

It’s weird. We live in a time where it seems as though people are not only obsessed with their own diets, but with everyone else’s diets as well.

I guess we could say that the time in which we live in has something to do with this over involvement in the lives of others. Instagram. Facebook. Tumblr. You can’t even scroll through your feed for a minute before coming across a photo of someone’s artfully plated meal.

And don’t even get me started on the food blogging craze.

And I love all these things. I’m not saying anything bad about posting your meals or blogging your food. I mean, I do the same. And I am guilty of looking at all of these posts and photos about other people’s food choices and very much enjoying it.

But at the same time, you can’t also can’t scroll through these social media platforms without seeing someone attacking someone else’s diet choices.

You call yourself an animal lover?

That’s unhealthy.

Your food choices make you a bad person.

I’m disappointed in you.

When did a person’s food choices become a reflection of who they are as a person?

So, admittedly, I believe that a large part of my inner turmoil can be attributed to the fact that I have been watching a lot of vegan Youtubers, reading a lot of vegan blogs, and am currently reading a (fabulous) book on the plant based lifestyle… And I feel both guilty and pressured.

Then, also, I see things like this post and beat myself up.

Can I really say that I love animals while not being vegan?

Can I really claim to be passionate about the earth while not being a vegan?

Can I really try to live a natural life while not being vegan?

 

I feel a connection to the earth. I want to be a part of it. I want to live simply with the world. I want to embrace the earth and all of the beauty that it has to offer.

But I’m not a vegan.

So what am I?

A fake?

A poser?

A hypocrite?

 

So who am I?

Is it possible to live the life that I want to without being a vegan?

 

I don’t wear fur or leather… And I am trying to be more aware of my makeup purchases and am trying to only buy cruelty free products. I try to be good to the environment as well.

Heck, I don’t even kill bugs. I make sure to take them outside to let them go.

But is that all null and void if I’m not a vegan?

Ugh.

My diet actually is predominantly plant based. I maybe consume meat once or twice a week and I don’t eat dairy very often either. But I’m not a vegan.

And I don’t feel as though I can be… Or that I should be.

There are a handful of reasons.

1. Frozen Yogurt.

This sounds so dumb… But there are very few foods that I genuinely enjoy and even fewer so that are considered “treats” that I feel comfortable allowing myself to have.

2. Seafood.

Again, very few foods that I truly enjoy and seafood is one of them.

3. My History.

This is probably the largest reason that I have reservations against becoming a vegan. I have spent a bulk of my life obsessing over what to put into my body, and even more time obsessing over what not to put into it.

My entire life has been a series of restricting things and I am currently trying my hardest to break that mindset of xx food is bad and not allowed.

I don’t know… I don’t know.

Am I a bad person?

If you read this long vent-session-like post… I seriously appreciate it more than I can even put into words.

Question(s):

What’s your opinion?

 

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Friday Favorites, Uncategorized

Friday Favorites 7.25.2014 – So Much Link Love!


Hey everyone, happy Friday!

Workout: I got up bright and early to get my brother ready for junior life guarding and to get to the gym before heading out for an appointment.

I opted for the elliptical today since I did a long run yesterday and figured that it would be a good idea to go easy on my knee today.

I also tried out a new workout that I found on the POP Sugar fitness app! Did you know this thing existed? I just found it the other day and it’s great!

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I did this workout at a level 20 elevation and those sprints were brutal. 

I also added an extra 10 minutes of intervals before my final cool down for a nice 40 minute workout.

 

 

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I don’t know why there are tissues on the ground next to the elliptical.

So now let’s talk about some things that I have been loving this week.

This week’s favorites include more links to blog posts and recipes than anything else because it seems that while I was in a slump blogging wise this week… The rest of the world was on a roll with some quality posts and recipes!

Favorite Eat: 

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My korean chili stir-fry from the other day! So so good. I’m actually considering making this again tonight!

Either that or some sushi… Mmm.

Favorite Workout:

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Favorite Sip:

I could drink iced mochas all day, every day for the rest of forever.

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I just add chocolate to my regular iced coffee and BOOM dessert in coffee form!

Favorite Watch:

I have been obsessed with this Youtube channel this week! Wengie is actually the cutest person ever and I love her style and her everything and I may or may not have spent a bulk of this week binge watching her videos.

Seriously, check her out.

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Favorite Listen: 

I’ve actually been listening to a lot of K-Pop and J-Pop this week! Super fun to run to and so darn catchy.

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I used to listen to J-Pop all the time (mostly Ayumi Hamasaki and anime soundtracks… yes I am one of those people), but I kind of fell out of it. I forgot how much I enjoy this music!

Favorite Internet Finds:

And here’s the fun part.

Fashion – 

1. This simple look from I Dress Myselff.

I promised myself that I was done shopping for the summer, but I may need to make an exception for that t-shirt dress.

2. This dress is almost as gorgeous as the woman wearing it. Can you believe that Amber only just had her baby a little bit over a month ago?

Also, I wish more than anything that that dress was within my broke college student budget.

3. I just bought a similar pair of overalls to these. Here’s hoping I can actually pull them off!

4. I can’t even with this entire look. It physically hurts my soul that this outfit isn’t in my life… And even if it was, it wouldn’t look anywhere near as amazing.

Blog Posts – 

1. I know that this only just went up yesterday, but it deserves a mention. Sam’s guest post on Angela’s blog on body image was just wonderful and inspiring. I keep seeing this whole, “all you need to get a bikini body is a bikini and a body,” idea pop up all across the internet and while it’s awesome, it’s nice to see a post that dives a bit deeper into that topic. Plus I just love Sam and her blog and am so inspired by her progress in recovery!

2. These cupcakes! I actually made a batch of them in mini form today for a graduation party that I am going to tomorrow! Now if only I could make them look as pretty as Sally did… Alas, while I consider myself a pretty good baker, I am probably the single worst froster on the planet. Cake always winds up everywhere.

It’s bad.

3. 

Yes I am putting my own video here… Because what better place is there for shameless self-promotion than on my own blog? =P

In all seriousness, I am loving doing Youtube videos. Like, really loving it. It’s such a great outlet for me and I really hope to continue to learn how to film and edit and how to not be awkward in front of the camera and that I can really grow my channel. I just love it.

 

Goal for the night is to go to bed at a normal time! I’m actually going to get off of my computer and read soon….

After I watch a few more Youtube videos ;).

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thinking out loud, Uncategorized

thinking out loud 7.24.2014


Hey everyone. It’s Thursday, and you know what that means…

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Thanks again to our wonderful host =)!

So let’s do this.

1. I mentioned yesterday that I have been in quite the slump this week. One of the things that is really bothering me is I have been looking and feeling very puffy and gross lately. Obviously, everyone has bad body-image days. Thing is, most days are bad body image days for me (body image has been one of the hardest things for me recovery-wise over these past few years), and when my already less-than-superb self-image is already worse than usual… I tend to shut town completely.

Problem is, I don’t know what is causing all of this fluid retention, but I swear my face and body are swollen. Either that or I’m gaining weight again… So I’m kinda-sorta freaking out.

2. I’m frustrated because I was finally starting to feel as though my body was healing. When I went away to school, I was eating more regular meals and I was starting to get hunger cues (I had not had them in years). I felt as though my metabolism was finally starting to work again, and I was excited.

A bit of backstory – After being released from the hospital for my eating disorder in 2011, I quickly started restricting again… But my weight stabilized. All of a sudden, in January of 2012, something completely snapped in my body and, without changing my diet and exercise at all, my weight shot up almost 20 pounds in less than 3 weeks.

Needless to say, I was more than a little freaked out.

Problem was, no doctor could pin-point exactly what was wrong with me. My cortisol levels were off, but not enough-so to treat. My thyroid levels were low, but not enough so to treat. I was seeing multiple doctors a week and still, there was no “cure” in sight.

The worst part, besides being heavier than I had ever been in my life while still eating barely enough to survive, was that people kept commenting on how “healthy” I was.

And I wasn’t. I was worse than ever.

I lost a little bit of weight in college without really trying, and I was thrilled. I felt as though my body was finally doing what it was supposed to again.

And now it’s not.

I’m weak, my digestive issues are back, my hunger cues are gone. I don’t know what is happening. And I can’t mentally handle going through all that again.

3. That being said, I’m bucking up and forcing myself to make a normal person dinner and eat the whole darn thing.

update: so dinner wound up as an absolute fail… so I wound up with a trusty snack plate + some turkey breast before work.

4. It is not after midnight, so it is no longer thinking out loud Thursday… but we’re going to pretend like it is still Thursday.

5. On a more positive note…. I ran 7 miles today!

 

 

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This just so happens to be the furthest that I have run in over a month! 7 miles in overcast weather (the best) at an average pace of 8:34 minutes per mile whilst listening to K-Pop (I’m currently obsessed) = happy Erin.

My computer is acting up all a sudden and keeps freezing so I’m going to have to end this post here. Talk to you tomorrow! I promise to be less negative and depressing then! =)

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