I did speed work and didn’t want to die

Hey! Blogging from the good ‘ol phone because my grandparents don’t have internet.

So I have exciting news.

I DID SPEED WORK TODAY WITHOUT WANTING TO LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE!!

Ok, maybe that’s not that exciting to you, but to me it was seriously the best thing ever. It’s been too long since I’ve gotten a quality workout in. I still wasn’t feeling 100% into it, but it was definitely better than it had been.

This morning, I ate breakfast (Luna protein bars are my go-to breakfast at school) and headed out to visit my grandparents for the weekend!

This weekend is super special because not only is it my wonderful grandmother’s birthday on Saturday, but my uncle is also down here for the weekend! Yay for family bonding time.

After getting to the condo, the first thing I did was throw a quick pre-workout lunch together.

I am fully aware that I have posted a picture of this exact meal before … But snack plates are my absolute favorite things ever and I will never stop eating them. I am also one of the most repetitive people in the world, I literally eat the same exact things every single day. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

After my meal, I headed out to the gym to complete a 30 minute speed workout.

It looked a little something like this:

5 minute warm up
1 minute fast
1 minute recovery
X10
5 minute cool down.

All of this was done on a level 1 incline, and I actually wound up putting the speed up higher than I had originally planned because I was feeling so good! So thankful that I am finally starting to feel like myself again.

The fast portions were done at 8.5 mph and the recoveries at 6.5mph. The warm up and cool down were 2.5 minutes at 4mph and 2.5 minutes at 6mph.

I followed this workout with some strength training. Again, I haven’t gotten good strength training in in over a week. So happy.

I did the Bridal Babe workout from Tone It Up 2x through. This is one of my absolute favorite workouts from Karena and Katrina. It hits absolutely every single part of the body and the moves change up enough to keeping from feeling repetitive and dull.

Funny story.

So after I finished my workout, this
guy who had been working out in the gym with me started talking to me (I am incredibly awkward and probably made a fool out of myself). He asked me if I was new here (no. I’ve been coming here for 18 years) and then commented, “You have a great workout. Most girls are too scared of getting bulky to workout like that.” I think I just responded with, “Erm, I’m an exercise science major so it’s like my life hehehehehe… SEE YA AROUND.” And ran out the door…

And then I had to come back because I am a genius and left my sweatshirt in the gym.

Ok, so maybe you had to be there to appreciate how truly awkward that entire conversation was. Or maybe I am just really bad at being a person and at making normal human conversation.

It’s probably the latter.

But yeah… Any awkward things happen to you guys today? I would love to hear about them!

I Am So Boring

Hey!

Again, life has been too uneventful to really warrant any blogging about it. I have been studying a lot, trying to apply myself more… yeah, all that jazz.

I’ve also been working on that workout rut that I have been talking about… yeah… still in it. That being said, the weather was absolutely perfect for running today.

Stormy weather is my absolute favorite thing ever. It was a bit windy, but somehow I managed 4 miles on dead legs… I can’t wait until my runs start getting fun again! You know what they say, it takes the bad runs to make you appreciate the good ones! And I sure will be appreciating those good runs once they come back.

I have also been working hard on my college applications to transfer. My grades last semester definitely weren’t where they should have been, so I am hoping the strong essay that I wrote will help. Also, my totally awesome writing teacher was kind enough to offer to write me a letter of recommendation! There are seriously no words to express how thankful I am for her to be taking the time to do that for me. Hopefully it will all be worth it. I am so excited (and terrified) to be heading to a new and hopefully brighter future. The more I think about it, the more that I know that the college I am currently at is wrong for me. I can’t wait to take more writing classes and to meet new people and to hopefully be back on a cross country team. I miss it so much.

In other news, I am absolutely hooked on Once Upon a Time… I don’t even want to disclose how quickly I am getting through this series. It is… well… enchanting (teehee… get it?)

I am, as per usual, heading to my grandparent’s condo for the weekend. My uncle is flying down for my grandma’s birthday on Saturday and that means that I get to bake a birthday cake! Baking is so therapeutic for me… So I am definitely excited! Also, it’s always super nice to get off of campus. I need my weekends away to keep me sane.

Now, off to bed I go! And by to bed… I mean watch Once Upon a Time some more.

 

Nineteen

Hey all!

Well … yesterday was my birthday. I am officially 19!

I know this sounds quite ridiculous, but I feel like 19 is so old… I know that in reality it isn’t, but it just seems like it you know. I feel like it’s just that much closer to being an adult… which admittedly, is one of my biggest fears. I am also just not a fan of my birthday in general. I don’t like getting older or getting attention, you get both on your birthday.

Oh! I also got to start off my day yesterday by getting my body fat percentage tested in my biokinetics class. Whoop-dee-doo! So fun! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be (I wasn’t 100% body fat or anything), but it still definitely was not my idea of a good start to the day.

We followed up the body fat testing with a quick workout (2 lap warm-up followed by 10 lunges, 1 lap sprint the straights jog the curves, run the stairs of the bleachers all 2 times through) and then I headed to the gym for a quick interval workout on the bike.

Like I said earlier, I am really not all that into my birthday. Nevertheless, my friend and I really wanted to get off campus, so we headed over to John’s Pass.

John’s Pass is just one of those touristy areas where there are a whole bunch of tacky shops and a pier and I love it more than I probably should…

They also have one of the best coffee shops ever, and if there is one thing that you should know about me, it is that I am an iced coffee junkee. I am constantly on the hunt for the best iced coffee ever.

I laughed way harder at this than I probably should have.

Oh how I love you… Iced coffee with soy milk and sugar free caramel syrup = Heaven in a cup.

Unfortunately, the weather absolutely sucked yesterday! It was cold and raining and John’s Pass is mostly an outdoors place… I wound up apologizing to my friend endlessly because I felt so bad that she drove all the way there when it was so gross out. We did have a good day though!

Oh! I also had my first ever Bubba Gump’s experience yesterday!

I’m really not big on going out to eat (it makes me anxious and I’m not all that into dinner foods), but I have always been curious about this place and there was one at John’s Pass so why the heck not?

I also knew that my friend liked the place so I thought it would be something that she would enjoy.

Forrest Gump quotes all over the table.

 

Because I am a broke college student, I got an appetizer as my meal. Cajun shrimp (why not get shrimp at Bubba Gump’s shrimp? I mean… it’s a household name =P) with some garlic bread. SO YUMMY!

Another highlight of my day was getting birthday letters from my mom and best friend.

I laughed for a solid five minutes at this thing… My bestie back home is the best person ever.

And of course… My one request for my birthday was to end it with my favorite food. Cookie dough and chocolate frosty froyo with all my usual toppings.

Now it’s back to reality (not that I ever really left), and studying and tests and trying to somehow pass my anatomy class this semester… Wish me luck!

 

My Life Is So Uneventful…

Hey!

Remember that workout rut that I was talking about yesterday? Yeah, it’s still going strong.

That being said, I have gotten in slightly alright workouts the past couple of days!

Yesterday, I headed off to the gym to do the new interval workout that the Tone It Up girls posted for spring!

I really enjoyed this workout, even though I was feeling kind of blah during it. I liked that it includes some medium paced running in it along with periods of sprinting and resting, especially since I wasn’t really feeling up to going all out (I tried though!). Interval workouts are also great, in my opinion, when you are in a workout rut, they’re quick, dirty, and the constant change of pace keeps you entertained.

A little over 3.5 miles accomplished.

Life really isn’t exciting lately, it’s hard to find things to blog about. I have been trying to do the things that I love, but most of the things I love are pretty lame and boring, to be completely honest… I have been working on the book I’m writing (I have zero attention span so it’s hard to make myself sit down and write) and I’m actually making some good progress on it! My issue always lies in the beginnings of stories… I am so excited to get to the good parts (i.e. the end) that it is hard for me to write introductions. There are only so many ways that you can introduce characters without it sounding stiff and boring… I really can’t wait to take some fiction classes within the next four years!

Today was mostly spent in class (I had to give an oral presentation on Disney Channel and the body image messages that it is sending to young girls… I almost passed out), writing, and working out. The studio at the gym was actually open for me to do some strength training today! Huzzah!

I did about 30 minutes of arms and abs, followed by 40 minutes of my favorite elliptical interval workout. There is only one good elliptical in our school gym, so whenever I want an easy/rest day workout and it’s available, I jump on the opportunity to grab it.

(I also did .33 miles on another elliptical prior to being able to grab the good one).

That’s really it for today… I’m headed to my grandparents’ house for the weekend tomorrow and there are no words that can adequately describe how excited I am!

Until tomorrow my friends!

Right Back At It

Hey everyone!

I’m back at school after a very hellish few days (about every bad thing that could possibly happen at the airport happened and I wound up not being able to get on my plane. Then, the next day, I had to go back to the airport again for a different flight and the plane was delayed once we were on it by 4 hours… It was a mess.)

As unhappy I am about being back here, and trust me, I am. I am back and at ti with a new attitude… or at least I am trying to have one. It’s hard, I am taking classes in a major that am no longer pursuing, and they are super hard classes too. It’s hard to stay motivated in classes that have absolutely nothing to do with my future… but I digress. I want to better myself in every way possible (heh.. this seems to be a re-occuring theme on my blog these days), and I will. I know I will.

I just need to get through the rest of this semester.

This is hard too, this idea of, “just getting though it.” This is the advice that I keep receiving from people, “Erin, you only have two more months. It will fly by.”

But I don’t want it to fly by. The idea of time, and the speed at which it seems to fly by… That has to be one of my biggest fears. It scares me. I don’t want time to be something that I wish away; I have never been one to wish it away. I have never wanted to be older, to grow up. I didn’t want to… Still don’t. Yet, I had to grow up pretty quickly due to to the happenings of life. And this is ok, but I won’t… no… can’t let go of my childhood dreams. I need to make something of myself. I need to make myself matter. To be someone that means something.

So my “plan” that I had for my life seems to have veered off in another direction. But that’s ok.

So yes, I will just try to, “get through the rest of the semester.” But at the same time, I won’t just go through the motions. I am going to read books, draw, write. I am going to focus on rediscovering myself and learning about who I am and trying to learn to accept the body that houses the person that I call myself.

And of course, a large part of this self discovery involves running.

Admittedly, I have gotten into a bit of rut lately when it comes to running and working out in general. I haven’t been loving it the way I normally do. I have been compulsive. Hours of exercise. No easy days. I have been unfair to my body and to myself.

All of us fall into ruts somethings, where we are just not feeling our workouts the way that we normally do. Not experiencing the joy that exercise normally gives. But why? Having a body that supports me running mile after mile? That is such a gift. It is something to be seen as a reward, not a punishment for the calories that I consume.

 

 

Life is beautiful. It is a gift.

 

Here’s to trying again to live the life that I want. And I am to fail… well… I’ll get right back at it again (total A Day to Remember reference here!)

The Existential Crisis

PLEASE tell me that one of you watches Danisnotonfire on Youtube and understands the reasoning for the title of this post.

But, I do really feel like I am having a bit of an existential crisis kind of thing currently… 

I know that basically all I have been doing recently on this blog is complaining about how I have no idea what I am doing with my life… But in all honestly, it’s all I have been thinking about. I am so overwhelmed by life and the meaning of it all and all that nonsense that I am actually having trouble just putting thoughts together.

So I have started a new mission…

Operation: Try to Feel Ok About Myself

Ok, it’s kind of a lamely titled mission… but you get the point.

I want… no… need to better myself in every way possible. 

Here are some goals on this mission:

1. Feel better about my general appearance

              – little changes that will make me feel more like me. I started yesterday

 

By dying half my head blue… Oops. It’s something that I have been wanting to do for forever, and it definitely didn’t come out perfect (I have never dyed my hair before) but I’m really loving it!

             -Another goal in feeling better about myself is losing weight… but at the same time I want to somehow figure out how to accept 

               and love myself as-is.

    2. Improve my running

             – I’m going to start getting serious about my training. This entails planning real speed work and pushing myself during that 

                speed work. It’s so simple to find a “sprint” speed and stick with that every speedwork session because it’s comfortable.

  3. Figure out what I am doing with my life.

             -This is a broad category.. but I just really need to get my stuff togehter.

 

I don’t know… I’m scared and excited to see what the future holds. I’m going back to see my old therapist tomorrow, hoping that maybe she can help me untangle the web that is my thoughts so I can get my head on a little straighter.

 

Now I’m off to spend some quality time with my cousins! I promise that I’ll start posting fitness things like a real healthy living/running blog soon =P

Family is Everything

Hi guys, once again I have been MIA. I have been home for the last couple of days for spring break, and quite frankly, I kind of forgot about blogging… Not that anything all that interesting has really happened.

I arrived back in the wonderful state of New York Thursday night.

 

There are really no words that can properly describe how happy I am to be home. I really needed this break from school and from well… life in general. While this semester has been considerably better than last (I can actually sleep in my own room this semester!), I really haven’t been doing well emotionally. I have had more panic attacks than I have ever had in my lifetime in a short period of time and I have jus honestly been crying a lot and all of that super pathetic stuff. I don’t know… I think that last semester, I was just basically in a constant state of emotional numbness. I’m really a hyper-emotional person. I cry really easily and I just don’t exactly have the best coping mechanisms. That’s why it was so weird last semester when I just didn’t care about anything. I mean, I cared… but not to the extent that I normally do. I just didn’t feel. And now I think that this semester all of it is just flooding back to me and I am really having a hard time coping with everything. I needed this time off. I need to focus on healing myself mentally and physically. 

 

Mother-daughter yoga session after my flight

I have a lot of things that I need to do. Lose weight. Get a job. Get good grades. 

And then a lot of things that I want to do. Learn to accept myself. Be more positive. Accomplish my dreams.

I just need to get my head on straight.

Being home has been really nice, albeit uneventful, so far. I get to take baths and cook things and sleep in a real bed. It’s super nice.

 

This oatmeal has been my current obsession. 1/4 cup of oats + 1tbs cocoa powder + 1 packet of stevia + vanilla extract + a splash of mint extract = minty, chocolaty deliciousness!

Green juices have also been making a reappearance

 

kale, spinach, cucumber, celery, grapes, cilantro, ginger, lemon, and aloe vera

And morning workouts! It’s great to not have to work around when the studio in the gym is open to strength train! This morning, I did the Fine Toning routine from the Tone It Up DVD. I wanted a short workout since I’m still super sore from doing Insanity Max Interval Sports training along with this workout on Friday.

Yesterday’s workout was just a super easy 5 mile run. I was so sore that the fact that I was even able to walk was a shocker.

 

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Now I have some paleo banana bread in the oven! Until tomorrow my friends!

A Weekend In Photos

Hey!

I apologize for being MIA these past couple of days. I was lucky enough to get to spend the weekend with my grandparents… but they don’t have any internet. My phone was also out of data for the month so, I couldn’t even blog from that.

Whoops…

But it really was a great weekend. I am so lucky to have them so close to my school.

This is kind of a Wordless Wednesday post… except… these are words right now… Oh well! Here are some photos from my weekend!